A birthday story..

So last night, hubster was watching Deadwood in the living room, and I was watching Kill Reality in the office...and I decided to go through some of our paperwork and throw away and shred some things. I came across a HUGE box of cards that I'd saved for whatever reason. Cards from family, cards from each other, letters from friends, things like that.
I came across an American Greetings birthday card that I remember purchasing, not FOR anyone - but because it was by far the strangest and quirkiest birthday card I've ever read. I've decided to post it here for your reading pleasure.

The front of the card says:

Celebrating a birthday

can be a blast if you use a little

imagination and keep an open mind.

Picture this:

Prior to picking you up for an

evening out, I stop at the store.

There I purchase a bag of jelly beans,

a roll of Necco wafers, a bunch of

medium-sized inflated rubber balls,

some pantyhose, a purple magic marker,

a gun, an etch-a-sketch, a four-pack

of toilet paper and some hollow point

bullets. (by the way, the gun was applied

for five days earlier, as requiered by law,

and the toilet paper is for my place...

I seem to go through the stuff like

water...but none of this is germane

to our story.)

I pull up to your place in my car,

(which I've painted to resemble the duke

boys' general lee) thrust my hand into

the bag of jelly beans on the front seat,

grab a half-dozen or so, step out onto

the street and start whippin' 'em at

your windows. I go and get some more

out of the car and begin wingin' jelly

beans across the street, onto the roof of

your neighbors place. They roll down into

the gutter, making an awful racket.

and now the fun begins....

and then you open the card and it says:

Have a seat....you'll enjoy this.

By this time, you're at the front door, screamin' something about what the hell am I doing? and am I crazy? and I yell, "yeah!...crazy like a beaver, I am!!" Before long we're in the car heading across town, laughing like a couple of Ed McMahons,on our way to get our hair done. (I offered. My treat.You said, "why the hell not, it's my birthday!") the only drawback is the long drive, and you don't hesitate to complain about it. This is when I reach for the Etch-A-Sketch."Here!.. went to Niagara Falls with one of these babies when I was a kid...they're better than drugs!" Forty-five minutes later we come to a stop on an overpass spanning the interstate. I pull over on the shoulder and ask you to get out of the car. I start to get out myself, when you ask me to look at your drawing of Oprah and I say "Looks more like JFK..." and you say "that's because of the equator." and I pause, because I don't know what the hell that means. I pop open the trunk, and as you stroll around back, you remark about all the rubber balls. I grab a ball, take the purple magic marker from my pocket, and write, "I see you when you're sleeping, and I know when you're awake" on the ball, then toss it into the onrushing traffic below the bridge. Handing the marker to you, with a "It's your turn" look on my face, you swipe the pen, scoop up a ball, and scribble "property of Enola Gay" on it before launching the sphere into the path of oncoming automobiles. Now...you wanna talk about fun? We fall to our knees with laughter, watching the antics of these desperate drivers and their pie-eyed passengers as they jerk their cars back and forth trying to avoid those bouncing beauties. Some time passes as the ensuing messages on the balls become more and more elaborate, before being set free over the highway. This is when the cops show up. It's a high-speed chase with roadblocks and choppers, taking hours...nevertheless, we lose 'em, and end up in the basement of an old church. You know the one. This is where I tell you to take the pantyhose off of your head. (You'd put it on to mask your identity when the camera crew flew up alongside of us in the helicopter during our getaway.) Anyways...A priest walks in on us as we're collecting our thoughts and says, "What're you two doin' here?"...Have I seen you before?" I nudge you, and hand you a white Necco wafer, and you understand my plan immediately. Slipping the candy onto my tongue,

and here is an arrow pointing to the back of the card (of course the entire inside of the card was filled with wording from the story) and says:

I answer him. "Yeth, Padre, you know uth...

we got communion from you." and he sees

the white disc and says, softly "oh...I see..."

and he turns to leave us, but suddenly

whirls around, brandishing a shotgun.

Spitting out the candy, I whip out my handgun.

The Priest stares, aghast, at the wafer on

the ground. "You, my friend, are going to

wish you hadn't done that," he sneers.

Then I grin back, "You feelin' tough enough

to go toe-to-toe with Mr. Hollow Point?"

and you yell "Hey! This ain't right! I ain't even

been sung to yet!" Bewildered, the priest

looks at me, and I explain that it's your birthday.

He pulls a pitch pipe from his vestments,

blows a high "C", and arm-in-arm, we launch

into a rollicking version of the birthday song,

Leaving you weeping with joy.

Now, is that not the oddest birthday card ever??

No room to write anything...just one big, weird story...LOVE.IT.

Tiny weirdo..

I snapped this picture of Tiny. Of course he totally looks like he was licking some unmentionables, but he really didn't. He just SAT there like this for a good while. It must have been comfortable to him, but doesn't it look strange?

Good weekend..

This weekend was nice. On Friday night, we ended up at my parents house so I could help them hook up their new computer...and halleluiah they are FINALLY ONLINE. We hung out with them for a while, had some good food - and headed home. Saturday, I slept in until around 10am...caught up on some taped tv shows and proceeded to do as little as possible until mark came home. We headed to AJ and CC's to hang out with them and the kids and to eat dinner. It was really great to have some playtime with the kids and some quality time with my brother and CC. We then went home and watched a couple episodes of The Sopranos, since we love that show and we're trying to get ourselves caught up. We went to bed really late and woke up late the next morning. Lounged around the house reading and being generally lazy, and then headed to SLO to meet up with my parents for the movie Cinderella Man...which was FANTASTIC.
After that, we hit up Applebee's for some appetizers and dessert (half off appetizers during happy hour! wooo!) and then home.
All in all, a great weekend since we got to catch up with family that we hadn't seen in a while (even though we all live in the same town) and also very relaxing and nice. Of course we didn't get a darn thing done around the house, but sometimes it's nice to just be lazy together :)
If there's one thing we're good at, it's lounging and lazying. We might as well enjoy it while we don't have kids eh?

As Promised...

Pictures of the Hornet's Home! Luckily, they weren't hanging around, so I was able to get in close and take some good pictures:





Isn't it cool lookin? Like a chinese lantern!

My hubby the Metro...

Soooo yesterday evening...Doug and I took a little trip to my local hairdresser. She has her very own salon with nobody else there, so it's very personal and you don't have to be embarrassed if...say...you're a guy....and you want to...oh, I don't know...get your EYEBROWS WAXED.

Now, I have to say...we didn't want to completely shape and sculpt them...we just wanted to clean them up a little. It was far too big of a job for my little tweezers, and usually at about 10 hairs in, he screams and says "no more! no more!" - so waxing it is...

Hubster before:


Hubster during:

And Hubster AFTER! (like I said, just shaped up a little...so as not to look like a drag queen):

Wooohooo!

He did SO well, and did not even make a PEEP during the entire procedure. My hairdresser even complimented him on being such a good customer. But when we got into the car, he goes "you know, I was once hit by a 450 pound Samoan guy....and that didn't hurt NEARLY as much as this whole waxing thing - it took EVERYTHING I HAD to not scream like a little girl"

HAHAHA - now that's funny right there, I don't care who you are.

After his suffering, we went to a local restaurant and ate fish tacos - where I also met a sexy pirate:

He told me I could take a peek, so I did...

We also met a one-legged bird during our meal...

We kept feeding him oyster crackers because we felt sorry for him - but we learned later, that he hangs out there all the time, and most likely gets fed all the time

It was so nice out last night that we decided to take a walk on the pier and we met yet, ANOTHER bird. I said "strike a pose" and he turned his head to his GOOD side...like this:

It was a nice end to an interesting evening....

Movie Mishap...

Okay, so despite the fact that we didn't care for the movie...
I thought I'd share some funny things that happened:

First of all, we were in line getting popcorn and a soda and noticed that they have COMBOS now - we chose the one that was 1 large popcorn and two medium drinks. Except that we realized it was $14.95...and so we decided to share one medium popcorn and one medium drink instead. So the pimply kid behind the counter says "you can upgrade to a large on both items for 50 cents"
and we said "great!"
We got the register and said "we got an upgraded #2!"
$10.95 - a GIGANTIC tub of popcorn - and a 2 foot tall cherry coke later, we were on our way into the theater...
We sat down and I put the soda in the cup holder...and started laughing because I swear the thing was so big, it practically blocked my view of the movie screen. I was terrified that I would knock it over...it was so tall that you couldn't take it out of the cupholder and drink it - you had to leave it in the cupholder and just lean over and sip out of the straw. We actually had to RAISE our head to get the straw in our mouth...it was that tall.
So anyway - we were waiting for the movie to start, and munching on popcorn and sipping on soda and hubster started laughing and said "dang, this popcorn is SALTY...I'm gonna be so bloated by the time I get out of here"
and I said "no kidding, I'm gonna go into diabetic shock from all this coke"
and he goes "yeah, so we'll both be found right here bloated and comatose after the movie - and when we wake up and people ask us what happened, we'll cry "WE UPGRADED!"
we crack ourselves up...
So then, a couple of teenage lovebirds squished in and sat right next to me and started yakking it up and giggling and nuzzling each other throughout the previews...the movie began and they still wouldn't shut up - so I got up and moved the other side of hubster which was right on the aisle.
I had smuggled some fundip candy into the theatre. You know, the kind that comes with two candy sticks and 3 flavors of sugar (think pixy stick substance) to dip into?
So I broke off one stick and handed it to hubster, and I took the other one and held the sugar packets in my hand, so that we could share.
In the meantime, another teenage kid comes and sits by himself at the seat right in front of me.
I was dipping the candy stick into the sugar and a piece of the stick broke off and flew out of my hand...it hit the seat in front of hubster...ricocheted off the seat and hit the kid in front of me square in the temple!
I swear, I watched in slow motion as the peice of candy bounced off his head and came to rest on a stair in the aisle.
He obviously thought it came from someone to the side and started looking around and shaking his head to make sure nothing was stuck in his hair...meanwhile, I was laughing SO hard and trying not to make ANY noise whatsoever, which is nearly impossible when you're laughing that hard. Hubster notices me laughing and goes "what happened to your stick?" which only makes me laugh harder....
I'm sure I looked as if I was having a seizure or something - and hubster had no idea what was going on - he was holding onto the giant soda and looking at me with bug eyes. I tried to whisper in his ear what had happened - but I gave up when he kept saying "what? what happened to your stick?"
which only made me laugh harder...

I eventually got ahold of myself and was able to watch the movie without any more mishaps. But when I was finally able to explain to hubster what had happened, he just looked at me and goes "I can't take you anywhere, can I?"

Sigh...

Charlie spoilers...

So, yesterday...hubster and I went to the movies to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. We walked out of there wishing we had our 2 hours and our 12 bucks back. Seriously, it was THAT bad. It totally ticks me off how much they messed up the remake. I know it's supposed to be more like the book - but the movie was some good stuff and they totally blew it.
First of all, Depp was downright creepy. Now, I'm sure he was supposed to play it a certain way...and he DID do a good job, acting-wise. But the person who decided that he should play it that way was off his rocker. He was like Michael Jackson creepy...with the wierd voice and the wierd face...and the RUBBER GLOVES. EW
Secondly, the oompa-loompas. WHAT THE HECK WERE THEY ALL ABOUT? They were even creepier than Wonka...and the music sucked donkeys.
They left a TON of things out...like slugworth, hello? wasn't he like a major part of the movie, and especially the end? and what about the burping scene with charlie and grandpa joe?
They also switched people around, and changed the story line of the previous movie so much that it really irritated me....

the first Willy Wonka was a feel-good movie...

but the remake was depressing and wierd and a waste of my money.

They didn't even play the oompa-loompa SONG...

Jumpy

Last night, it was about 11:30pm and hubster and I were in bed talking when we heard two loud gunshots. We both stopped mid-sentence and looked at each other because I swear they sounded like they came from our backyard. Hubster turned the light off and we both stood on the bed and looked out the windows of our bedroom into our neighbor's yard. We couldn't see anything, so we laid back down and listened to see if we could hear sirens or a car leaving in a hurry or anything of that nature.
I was so on edge that every noise those cats made, I felt like crawling out of my skin and hiding under the bed.
Hubster and I got up and checked both doors and all the windows. It really freaked us out - mainly because it was so CLOSE.
I got up this morning and immediately drove around the neighborhood looking for yellow tape on someone's house...and yet, everything looked normal. I also checked the news and the paper this morning and couldn't find a darn thing. Must have been someone just messing around - but DARN if it didn't scare the crap out of me. We live in a really small town and a very quiet neighborhood. It's not normal to hear gunshots like that, especially gunshots that sound like they're coming from our own backyard.
I slept like CRAP - tossed and turned all night and swore that I kept hearing noises...
paranoid much?

Experimenting...

I've been messing with this site a bit, trying to figure out how it all works...and I have yet to post any pictures...so here goes...

This is our oldest cat Tweak:
He was kinda pissed when I took this picture because I interrupted his 13th nap of the day. He's the Patriarch of all 3 cats and the one who's been with me for the last 6 years - BEFORE hubster. Very calm and protective and PATIENT. If he's hungry, he will just sit by his food bowl until one of us happens to walk by and notice him. He's great with kids, and he has his moments where he turns back into a kitten with his playful side. He doesn't like people who are scared of him (he's HUGE) and like to antagonize our friends and family with his staring intimidation tactics. He's my buddy and will always cuddle with me as long as hubster and the other cats are nowhere to be found.

And this our middle cat Jackson:

He's kind of the red-headed stepchild of the bunch. He originally belonged to our neighbor, but decided he liked us better...and before we knew it he was sleeping in our bed and standing on our chest at 4:30am whining for some kitty lovin. He has since turned into a total daddy's boy and whines and cries and paces on the bed whenever hubster is getting ready to leave for work. He also sits in the window waiting for him to come home, and I always know when hubster is home because I'll hear the loud Jackson whine. I swear he's saying "Daddy! My DADDY! oh boy, oh boy my daddy's home!". He is a big cuddler and his favorite thing to do is take a nap with hubster during the daytime.


And finally, we have TINY:
He has mastered the art of being "The Baby" of the family and is spoiled beyond belief. He is a major mama's boy, and will whine and cry until I pick him up and put him on my shoulder, where he'll immediately start purring. I swear, sometimes it's like having a baby who doesn't want to be put down. He's very curious and HATES when doors are closed anywhere in the house. He also loves furry mice and for some reason likes to drown them in the water bowl. I'm telling you, every day we find a different furry mouse in either the food bowl or the water bowl. He is very playful, and yet a very good cuddler (only with mama) and both hubster and I think that no matter how old he gets, he's always be The Baby.

So there you have it - introduction to our 3 "kids"...hope this whole picture posting thing works the way I want it to :)

Follow up on June Entry...

I found out that the nest at my parents is not a yellow jacket nest...it's a hornets nest. And pretty much the only way to get rid of it is to spray insecticide directly into the opening and hope that you either kill them all, or that you're a fast runner.
OR - you can just wait until wintertime when they desert the nest...sounds like they'll probably just wait.
My mom is avoiding that side of the house like the plague, and they've shut gates and stuff so my neices can't get back there. I can just see one of my neices throwing rocks at that thing...HEE! They call it "the Bee's House"
Next time I'm up there, I'm taking a picture - I swear!

Quirks of a hubster

Hubster has one DISTINCT quirk at bedtime.
He cannot and will not sleep if the blankets are not perfectly laid across the bed. No wrinkling, or tangled blankets allowed.
Now...I am a mover and a shaker when I'm sleeping. I'm constantly tossing and turning and putting my feet in and out of the blankets...sometimes one entire leg will be out and slung over hubster...I move constantly...and the blankets have a tendency to get a bit...well...messed up...twisted...in completed disarray - however you want to call it.
So, last night, I was already in bed and hubster crawled in next to me. The blankets were okay, but they weren't perfect...and he was tossing and turning behind me...and I started giggling. He goes "what?"
and I kept on giggling...right about the time that he started kicking his legs wildly trying to smooth the blankets without having to get out of bed.
Again he grunts "WHAT?"
and I said "in about 2.7 seconds your going to be out of bed and redoing the blankets on this bed"
and he goes "no, no...I got it"
and again starts kicking his legs wildly trying to fix the blankets...

About 1.5 seconds later he is up and out of bed and taking all the blankets off and putting them all back nice and smooth.

I just laid there laughing at him...

and yet, he got into bed and fell fast asleep once the blankets were fixed...he even started snoring in the middle of us talking...
I swear, smooth blankets are like valium to him - I've never met anyone who can fall asleep so fast.

That is, as long as the blankets aren't messed up.

No Stinging Please!

Yesterday I stopped in at my parents house to drop off a tape of "Into the West" that I had taped for my dad.
I was sitting on the couch chatting with my mom, when my dad came into the living room and motioned for me to follow him.
"You've got to see this" he said
I got up and followed him down the hall, through their bedroom and out the sliding glass door to the backside of the house. He pointed up towards the roof. I looked up and saw a HUGE yellowjacket nest.
I said "WHOA! COOL!" and dad says "ummm, I wouldn't move too quickly if I were you"

It was the neatest thing - they had made it out of PAPER. Dad said he'd been watching them for the last couple of months, and they would fly over to the fence or the woodpile and eat the wood and mix it with their saliva and plaster it onto the nest. It looked like a big paper maiche (or however the fuck you spell that) ball. But it's really pretty, kind of gray colored with swirls of white and actually looks like a chinese lantern.

So I said "Dad, you've just left that thing here for 2 months? Isn't that dangerous?"

and he said "well yes, but I don't know how to get rid of it..."

and I started laughing because I was picturing that guy on the commercial who was trying to knock down the bee's nest with his buddy holding the trash can open...and then he falls off his ladder and all hell breaks loose?

Mom walked out then and was watching it with us. She said "your father wants to get rid of the yellowjackets but save the nest, I can't figure out why"...

Dad and I looked at each other and said in unison "because it's COOL!"

He elbowed me and we laughed together as we watched mom shake her head and say "you two are asking for trouble"

I'm gonna have to do some research on how to get rid of that thing and if possible not ruin the nest.

I'll try to get up there with my camera next time so that I can post a picture of it.

All about the hair...

I'm just gonna say it...

Hubster has a bald spot.

Many people in our families feel the need to point this out to him, but he's in complete denial and so we just don't talk about it.

About a week ago, hubster informed me that he was going to grow his hair out. I just snorted at him and said "shyeah right, that'll be the day" - mainly because he very often tells me things like this and rarely if ever, actually follows through. He once said he was going to grow his goatee for a whole year, just to see how long it would get...

He last about a month (which to be honest, was longer than I thought he would last).

The thing about hubster is that he's positively ANAL about his hair. He gets it cut every two weeks or so and never goes anywhere without his precious bottle of LA LOOKS (can you say 80's???) styling gel. He even carries one in his car...yes, yes he does.

So it's probably going on 3-4 weeks since he last had a hair cut. He had taken a shower right after he got home, so his hair had no product in it for most of last night. I was laying in bed reading and he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, and apparantly he decided to brush his hair as well. I heard him laughing and I looked up and he turned to me and goes "I'm not growing my hair out, I'm growing a FRO!"
and yes, he certainly is growing a FRO...for some reason, his hair is growing out really thick and puffy...except for you know, that spot in the back... so it's actually like of like a fro-mullet.

So I giggled at him and I said "well HELLO Mr. KOT-TER!"

He yelled "Shut up!" and proceeded to grab another mirror so he could see the back and the sides...

I was watching him as he was turning his head this way and that...and he stopped and looked at me and said "why are you staring at my fro?"

and I raised my hand and shouted "ooouuu-oooouuuu Mr. Kotter!"

He then frowned at me and slammed the bathroom door...while I collapsed on the bed with laughter.

He eventually came out and said that he just can't do it - he has to get a haircut...he's not into the FRO-MULLET that he's growing...

Excuse me a second...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - I should have taken a picture, so I could share the hilarity of hubster's hair without the gel and in FRO-mode.

My friend Murphy

Sometimes I have days where I feel like a walking catastrophe.

I seem to have issues at a local supermarket. It's kind of a smallish store, but very close to where I live and a convenient place to go, even if they don't always have the best prices. A couple of weeks ago, I knew some friends of mine were here from out of town - and she and her husband wanted to get together with my family and a couple other friends. I planned a get-together at a local park, so that everyone's kids could run around on the playground and we could eat and catch up.
I called this local grocery store a couple of days before the picnic and ordered a tray of sandwiches. I figured it would be much easier to just buy some chips and drinks and everyone could build their own sandwich. I was on the phone with the girl for quite a while as I decided on meats and cheeses and condiments. She assured me that everything would be ready by 5pm on the day of my picnic. I doublechecked the date and time with her and hung up.
On the day of the picnic, we'd decided to meet at around 5:30 which I figured would give me just enough time to get off work, pick up the sandwiches, and head to the park.
I got off a bit early and headed to the store, filled my cart with drinks and paper plates and chips and headed over to the deli section to get my sandwich tray.
I gave my name to the girl, and by the deer-in-headlights look that she gave me, I knew something was wrong. She went back to check and came out with bad news written all over her face. There was no sandwich tray. I told her who I'd spoken to, and she checked with the other deli workers...nobody had seen a sandwich tray get made and it was nowhere to be found.
The manager then came over to see what the problem was....
ahem, anyway....
He looked concerned and asked what time my party was....I told him that I had about 20 minutes to figure out how to feed 10 people and 4 kids. They were all running around trying to call the girl I'd given the order to and trying to figure out what to do. I finally just said "hey, is that fried chicken in there? Got enough to feed 10 people?"
and I walked out with 4 bags full of fried chicken, 2 big buckets of macaroni salad and pesto pasta salad, all for about $15. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet - they all felt so bad and were really nice about it. I'm supposed to get a free tray of sandwiches as well...very cool.

So the next day, I went to the same store to get some groceries for home. I ended up getting lots of BIG stuff...bottles of water, 12 packs of soda, boxes of cat litter...etc, etc.
I was walking towards the car and I saw this creepy guy feeling up some lingerie that was on a sale rack outside of a local adult oriented store....
I guess I was so distracted by the weirdo that I didn't notice I had pushed my cart off the sidewalk...and my entire cart tilted sideways spilling out all my groceries into the (Empty, THANK GAWD) parking space. I made a couple of foolish looking attempts to set the cart upright - but DAMN are those things heavy! The creepy guy came running over and helped me take all my heavy stuff out of the cart and then eventually we got it back upright...I thanked him, and he nodded at me without saying a word, and went right back to the rack and held up a pair of panties. Yeah, it was weirding me out...so I hurriedly starting putting my groceries back into my cart.
In the meantime, some jerk decides that he HAS TO PARK in the exact space that my groceries are strewn all over and actually had the audacity to honk at me...I waved him away and yelled to park somewhere else. When I turned back around and who was standing there smiling? The MANAGER guy from the day before...
He started helping me pick up my groceries and chuckled and said "hmmm, having some problems here I see? Is our store cursed for you or something? At least I can see that you came back after the fiasco from yesterday...but now your groceries are scattered all over the parking lot"
My face was flaming red and I just laughed and said "well, you can't say I'm not LOYAL!" hehe
We filled my cart back up and he wished me a good day...I saw him turn around and notice the creepy guy who was STILL feeling up the skimpy outfits and he kinda did a double-take and then glanced back at me and shrugged...

About a week later, I was back at the store...and I was walking down an aisle. There were two young boys in the aisle roughhousing and shoving each other....I was about to go around them when I noticed Mr. Manager come around the corner. At that exact moment, one of the kids knocked a huge jar of applesauce off the shelf and it cracked and splattered all over the floor and my cart and ME...
The kids took off running and the manager guy just held up his hands and said "SHEESH! I swear, Murphy must follow you into this store or something"
He proceeded to get a towel for me to wipe the applesauce off my shoes and he said that next time he saw me in the store, he would be ready for something odd to happen.

So TODAY, I had to run to the store real quick on my lunch hour. I'm wearing a long purple skirt, with a lavender peasant top. When I was standing in line, the manager guy saw me and nodded in recognition, and then went to help a customer.
I get up to the register and I'm writing out my check...
I hear the bagger girl say "wow, I LOVE your skirt...and the shirt is so great! Where did you get that outfit?"
and I told her that I found it at the strawberry festival...
and she goes "oh, well did you get a business card? I'd LOVE to buy a skirt like that"
and I said "uh, well no..it was a little chinese couple selling them...but I couldn't tell you the name of the business"
and she proceeded to ask me how much it was, and if I knew of any other festivals in the area...
and after I said "I'm sorry, I have no idea", she said
"well, can I see the tag? Maybe they have a website or something"
I was kinda wierded out that she didn't say "hey, cool skirt" and leave it at that...

She started to walk around behind me and I said "well, oooookay" and I scrunched down so she could see the tag....and while she's reading it - I look up and see the cute manager guy walking by shaking his head and he goes "see? what did I tell you? ODD!!!!"

and walked away...

Sometimes Life can be so weird...

Monday blah's

I'm trying to learn how to personalize this blog more...the whole "learning HTML process" seems very long and tedious, but at least I added a notify list to the bottom of the page - that way if there actually is anyone out there reading this thing, y'all can sign up and you'll get an email whenever I finally get off my lazy kick and post something.

Hubby and I stayed up late on Saturday and we both drank so much caffeine that we couldn't sleep, so at about 1:30am, we both took a muscle relaxer. His back was hurting, and I had cramps - so we figured "Why not?"
Holy moly, those things are strong! Hubster slept until 1pm (which he NEVER DOES) and I slept until almost 3pm (which I could probably always do, but I'll force myself to get up at around 10 or so). Dang, talk about sleeping the day away. We slept right through hubsters company picnic...and we were both worthless and fuzzy headed the rest of the day. Oddly enough we had no problems falling asleep last night.

I got up late and had to do a 15 minute search and rescue on my set of keys because I couldn't find them ANYWHERE - except that they were sitting on the kitchen counter and because I'm a big dork, I looked everywhere BUT there. Poor hubster was dragged out of bed and looking under the couch cushions and under beds in his underwear because I was frantic and already late for work.

I need to have those things surgically attached to myself because I lose them ALL THE TIME.

We watched a movie last night called "In Good Company" - it was EH...not what I expected...didn't end the way I'd hoped...but we watched the whole thing, so it couldn't have been that bad.

My friend T bought a podometer the other day, and after dropping it into the toilet at work (ahem, T!) she bought another one. That thing is pretty darn cool, so I think I'm going to get one. It's a good way to judge how much exercise I'm getting. They say you should walk 10,000 steps a day to get a sufficient amount of exercise. Heck, I'm probably at about 100 steps a day...so I need to get off my duff.

I still suck...

and I'm still here. Sometimes it's wierd because I'll THINK about blogging and then I'll get sucked into whatever I'm doing here at work and I'll forget all about it. I like to write and I feel better when I can clear all the crap out of my head, so I'm not sure what the problem is with the absent posts and all...

Okay, so we went on vacation which was fun, of course it's always fun to be away from work and the daily chores at home. We went to Venice Beach first...Doug didn't like it so much, but I love it down there. It's a FREAKshow, and I just love the freaks. Doug goes into what I call "city mode" in places like that - he makes sure I'm close to him at all times, and he's constantly looking around keeping his eye on things. I also call it "paranoid mode" but that has a tendency to produce a lecture on the evils of big crowds and all the hypothetical things that can go wrong. BAH
I was flitting around looking at all the hippie clothes and smelling incence and checking out the head shops and tattoo parlors...tra, la, la - completely oblivious to any possible danger. Doug does enough worrying for both of us.
The next day, we headed down to Anaheim to go to Disneyland. It was a Monday, and we probably would have had better luck on a Wednesday or something, but it was fun anyway, we missed a few rides...but we stayed until the park closed and then headed back to the hotel and ordered room service - aaaaaaah rooom service....is that the best or what??

The next day we drove back to downtown LA to hit the art museums with my aunt and uncle. I completely got us lost and we ended up in a very questionable place called Echo Park...we totally could have scored some drugs there. HEH
I told Doug that there is no way we would ever make it on the Amazing Race because I am so directionally challenged - and he is so anal about doing all the driving. The only time he lets me drive is when he wants to sleep...the hypocrite.
We finally found the place, and honestly, I learned more about art in 3 hours with my aunt and uncle, then I ever did in ANY of the art classes I took in school. They ROCK when it comes to that kind of stuff...my uncle was an art professor, so he knows his stuff - as well as my aunt who is just naturally very knowledgable...and they have a cool appreciation for all the modern stuff, and can explain things to me so I understand it instead of looking at some trash sculpture and thinking "shoot, I could clean out one of our closets and make that SAME peice - where's MY million dollars"

We stayed with them for a couple of days, and after that, we went to Palm Springs where it was hotter than HELL itself. 113 degrees? Yeah, that's too hot.
I ended up getting a cold because of all the air conditioning...but we did get some good R and R - and Doug got to go to an old WWII airplane museum...very cool.

Let's see - back home on Sunday, and back to work on Monday (for me anyway, hubby had monday off - lucky!)

and I thought I was doing so well...

Until I took a month off from writing - over a month actually...I'm not quite sure why I've let it lapse for so long, but perhaps that's why my head is all jumbled.

So much going on...I think I just got sidetracked and busy with work - and since our computer at home is acting up, I just haven't been posting like I used too. I'm gonna work on that.

We've moved - and I've pretty much taken the last couple of weekends OFF. You know how when you move, you get all psycho and want to start decorating and unpacking and you spend every spare minute getting "settled" - yeah, I STARTED out that way...but I've completely and utterly taken the last couple of weekends off. I'm talking NO laundry, NO cleaning, NO organizing -the most I've done is prepare a few meals and done some dishes...and that's all she wrote. I am a complete lazy butt...and I'm ready to get back on the wagon.

I have to admit, it really did feel good to sit on my butt and watch so much TV and read and not do anything though...hee!

SO, a few weeks ago - I was stuck at home for a couple of days with some sort of stomach virus thing. I went back to work - but still didn't feel like myself - and my digestion still wasn't up to par...I basically had what my grandpa always referred to as "the squitters".
AHEM...

So, after a couple more weeks of that and not feeling any relief and being SO BLOATED every time I ate anything, so that I was only wearing elastic pants because nothing else fit me...I finally went to the doctor. She thinks I'm lactose intolerant...
SO I've been ordered for 2 weeks to stay off the lactose and see if I feel better - and I DO!
I was honestly hoping that I wouldn't...because that would mean that cheese is my enemy - and I LOVE CHEESE...but of course, it seems that lactose is probably causing the bloating among other things.

On the plus side, hopefully I'll lose some weight!

Also, our new little neice is going to be born tomorrow morning - woooooooo!
I have to be at A and C's house at 5AM (DEAR GAWD) so I can be on kidwatch...and bring them to the hospital to meet their new baby sister...
We're all very excited to meet her and see who she looks like. This is it for them - she's getting her tubes tied.

Of course with all the baby talk about here - Doug and I have been talking more and more - and I think we've decided that sometime NEXT summer (2006) will be a good time to go off the pill and let things happen in their own way...
at least this is what has been decided SO FAR - you never know about us. We really want to get a good chunk of money in savings so we won't feel completely financially strapped...with less income...we'll need a buffer zone.

Let's see - what else is going on...
OH! Doug and I are going on vacation in a few weeks - nothing big, we couldn't afford our DC trip like we wanted...so we're heading down to Venice Beach and Universal Studios and the art museums at LA county - we're gonna stay with my aunt and uncle for a couple of days and then head over to Palm Springs to relax by the pool for a couple of days as well. We're both really looking forward to it - we need a break! We will miss our kitties though :)

There is other stuff going on, but I'll have to write it out later - must get back to work...

I shoulda been...

A boxer...
I'm fascinated by the sport...I love watching it - and I'd LOVE to get into a ring someday. (oh, just put me in there with Jonathan from Amazing Race 6...I'd be FIRED UP to box smarmy face - and anyone from the sweet 16 show...and maybe a few of those laguna beach girls too....hmmmm, I'm gonna have to make a list)
Hubster and I watched the Contender last night and I think it's my new favorite show. I was SOOOO rooting for Gomez, the underdog to win last night - and he did! The other guy Peter was a good fighter - a power hitter...but they sure played up the whole "I'm doing this for my daughter" thing. I was getting a bit sick of it to be honest. In my opinion, his daughter was WAY too young to be watching her father get beaten silly in the first place. It almost seemed like we the audience were supposed to root for him because of the whole family aspect.
I'm glad Gomez won - he proved he's got some SERIOUS cojones just by choosing to fight the undefeated Peter.
I'm already hoping to see the pretty boy (hubster and I call him Love Boat because of that silly outfit he was wearing on the first day) go up against Ishe. And I hope Ishe smacks the crap out of him...HEH - is that wrong? Ishe is a pompous guy, but something about Love Boat just rubs me the wrong way - and what was up with him forgetting the lock combination? ya dork...he didn't have to carry any logs his ONLY JOB was to run up the hill and get the numbers for the lock from the signs on the side of the road...hello?
yeah, he's gonna piss alot of people off.
I can't believe I just went on and on about this show - yup, I'd say it's my favorite....big adrenaline rush. Doug better watch out because I just might bust out some boxing gloves one of these days! hehehe

The Bamboo Stool Incident...

I have been reminded by a friend of mine, that I never did explain the "bamboo stool incident" that I mentioned in the toilet prank entry...

heh, okay - that just makes me laugh every time I think about it..

So anyway, hubster and I have one of those papasan chairs. It's one of those big-bamboo-satellite-dish-with-a-cushion-in-it type of chairs. I've ALWAYS wanted one of those chairs - but my ex never wanted me to have one. ( I know! how could I let someone have so much control over me? UGH - makes me sick to think about)
So anyway, the VERY FIRST thing I purchased after we broke up was a big ass Papasan chair...I used to call it my "independence chair" - but now we just call it "THE BOWL". It's fantastic when you're watching someone's baby and you need to put he/she down for a second and don't want to have to worry about them rolling off of anything...the BOWL is a good babysitter :)
So the bowl, it comes with a little stool for your feet. It's just a small round bamboo stool with a little round cushion on it. It's quite common for one of us to use it as a seat, if we have people over and have run out of seating....
Except that one time, I sat on it and it went CRUNCH! and I fell over.
I sat up and looked at my demolished little stool...of course I was completely embarrassed in front of my friends because my fat butt had BROKEN A BAMBOO STOOL (bamboo is supposed be really tough isn't it?? well it doesn't compete with MY ASS)
A couple of days later, hubster and I went to the store and bought another stool - and that was that...or so I thought...
About a week after that, I was in the kitchen cooking a healthy meal and telling hubster that I really needed to get onto a healthy eating plan because I had gained WAY too much "married weight" and I still couldn't believe that I had broken that stool in front of everyone.
Hubster looked at me very sheepishly and said "umm, well...you didn't exactly break the stool"
"what?" said I...
"umm, well...I sort of broke it...first"
-----and this is where I started screeching and running my words together saying "youmeanyouputthatstoolbackafteryoubrokeitKNOWINGitwasbrokenandyouletme
sitonitandembarrassthehellouttamyself...Ican'tbelieveyouwoulddothattomeyou
SUCKandyouknowpaybackisabeyotchandohIWILLgetyouback!

of course he apologized and apologized...but STILL! I was set-up! and cursing my own butt all that time, when it wasn't even MY butt that broke the darn thing...

So, when he thought he'd broken the toilet seat and yet didn't say anything - and waited for ME to discover it....I was definately reminded of the bamboo stool incident

and also reminded that I haven't necessarily gotten him back for that yet...

*insert evil laugh here..

Cleaning Spree...

Yesterday, the hubster and I went to our new house ( I say new, as in NEW-TO-US..it's actually quite old...wood floors and all...very 1940's) and cleaned like MAD. I swept and mopped all the floors, and vacuumed all the bedrooms...that was quite a job. Doug was in charge of the bathrooms - he scrubbed the heck outta the tubs and let them soak in bleach...he also cleaned all the surfaces in the kitchen and did a darn good job. I'm very impressed with his cleaning skills when he really puts his mind to it.
The hall bathroom had those non-slip stickers in the bottom of it...and whoever put them on did a real half-ass job because most of them were clustered down by the drain. They were fish and bubbles....ummmm, yeah, those had to go. Hubster sprayed some Goof Off on them and scraped them off with a spatula....they came right off, but there is still an imprint of glue remaining. Anyone have any ideas how to get it off? We tried bleach and comet and tilex and the glue remover stuff...and after both of us becoming quite HIGH and silly from the fumes, we decided to leave it.

So far, mom...T...and CC and the girls have come to see it - they all loved the open floor plan and said we got a good deal, which makes me feel better because I still have moments of second guessing ourselves when it comes to paying that much rent. I guess I just have a hard time letting go of money in big chunks like that...although, who doesn't? heh

I went through our bookshelves over the weekend and I discovered the following:

I found 32 books that I'm going to put in our garage sale...I say 32 now, but by the time I really have to sell them, I may have re-evaluated how I feel about those books, and it might just be down to 2 books to sell...heh

I found well over a hundred books that I have read, but that I just. can't. get. rid. of. - okay, I shouldn't say can't...I'm gonna say WON'T...because most of them are hardback books that I paid good money for, and that I could possibly read again because they were good enough to keep...I'm so much like my mother, I just have a hard time getting rid of stuff.

I found 65 - let me repeat...65 - books that I HAVE NOT READ YET.
I'm so disappointed in myself that all those books were lurking in my shelves and I kept buying MORE books thinking that I was almost out of things to read! I can't believe it...
I'll be setting up our bookshelves in the new place with one big section for my "have not read" books...heh

Also, I have alot of boxes with CRAP in them...honestly, just little piddly things that I don't know what to do with - or that got thrown into that box when company was coming at the last minute. I must have come across 3 or 4 decorative boxes full of miscellaneous STUFF. It'll be nice to use this next few weeks to go through that stuff and either get rid of it, or find it a home where it belongs instead of being thrown into a box.

I will inevitably look at things and go "oh, I can't get rid of that...I NEED that"

It frightens me that I've become such a packrat. Just. Like. My. Mother

soooo MIA

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I posted here. So much has happened, so much going on - WHEW!

I'm just gonna recap on some things that have happened:

~My hair is orange...my mom put highlights in for me, but I think I left them in too long because I came out looking like Debra Harry with the badly bleached hair. I then got some dye to try to go back to my normal color...only it came out looking safety cone orange (because the dye I picked had a reddish tone to it) in the bleached places...and a pinkish color throughout the rest of my head. I called T and she came over to help me with my hair fiasco. We bought some color corrector and another box of regular blonde dye with NO red...mixed the two together and again applied it all to my hair. As we were watching American Idol, I could feel my scalp burning and T told me to pull on my hair to make sure it was still attached to my scalp...!!!! Thankfully it was, and I vowed that no matter how it turned out, I would leave it to avoid becoming bald.
It came out kind of reddish/orangesh - but not all bright and coppery like before. It looks like a really, really strawberry blonde. It's fading, but not soon enough for me - I should have just left it alone.

~ Wednesday the 16th was just an all around BAD day...work sucked - many things went wrong....someone at Doug's work backed into his car and crunched the front bumper and part of the fender (that was actually a blessing in disguise because we'll get some CASH for that..and probably won't even bother to fix the car). That same day we got a phone call from our current landlords that they have decided to put the house that we LIVE IN...and have only LIVED IN FOR 10 MONTHS....up for sale.
Which means, YAY! We get to move...again...lovely

~ I was pacing the floors of our house and making our cats nervous while trying not to cry...Doug decided to go get a paper even though it was around 8pm. We started circling places to look at and eventually just got our butts into the car and WENT.

~ For the next couple of days we pretty much did nothing BUT look for a place to live when we got from work. It was a very disheartening experience because we knew we were going to have to pay more rent then we wanted to - and all the places that were decently priced were absolutely GHETTO looking ...

~ Through a real estate agent friend of ours, we found out about some affordable housing homes that are being built in our area. They are 3 bedroom, 2 bath's selling for $315k - which is UNHEARD of in this town. We set up an appt. to go look at them, figuring that we might be able to swing that much - and found out that we actually qualified with the city for the affordable housing program. The house was LOVELY, but after crunching numbers and figuring in property tax and homeowners association fees...we realized that our mortage would be around $2500 a month...which is impossible for us.

~ We both agree that it's kind of a big thump on the head to realize that we couldn't even afford a $315k house. CONDO'S even sell for more than that in this area...so we thought it was a good deal! Turns out, it's not really... especially after we found out the CATCH (city gets 90% of the equity earned on the house if it's sold within 30 YEARS - ummm yeah, bite me city people)

~ We've talked ALOT about having to move out of this area...we both know it's pretty much inevitable at this point. IT makes me sad to think about it. We decided we'd better keep looking for rentals...we are both really exhausted of the whole "house buying" and mortgage topics anyway.

~Saturday evening we found THE place. Sunday we paid partial deposit so the owners would take the ad out of the paper...and tomorrow we're paying the rest of the deposit and getting the keys. IT's a 3 bedroom, 2 bath with a FIREPLACE (doug's dream) for $1200..which is kind of "yikes", but we really like the place...so we think it's worth it.

Whew - it's been a whirlwind week for us...so much going on...so much wheeling and dealing with the landlords...so much worry about money, and cats, and packing, and work.

I've been taking a yoga class that has seemed to help me stay calm...but I feel very tense lately - I always do when stuff like this goes on in my life....

Onward to bigger and better, right???

Funny Story

Prepare yourself for a good laugh...

On Friday, hubster (who shall refer to as DOUG from time to time because he SOOO reminds me of Doug Heffernen from King of Queens, same job and everything! And now that he's in that movie Hitch, and I've seen him dancing - yeah, that's the hubster...) and I went to see A.J. race a little RC car that goes really fast on an indoor track in San Luis. There is a hobby store next to the track, so I cruised around in there while waiting for the race to start - and found the PRANK section...you know, pepper gum, hand buzzers, etc. - Thinking of Sundry and her suggestion in a journal entry, I decided to purchase some of those little SNAPS! ...remember those? little paper covered exploding things that make noise and scare the crap out of people?
Anyway - it was a lazy Sunday afternoon - and I was in the living room watching taped episodes of The Apprentice (Go street smarts!) and Doug was in the den playing video games in surround sound REALLY loud, in between watching the superbowl off and on.
While I was fast-forwarding through some commercials, I noticed the box of SNAPS! sticking out of my purse. I thought about just going into the kitchen and wailing one against the wall of the den to startle Doug - but then I decided to follow Sundry's suggestion and put them under the toilet seat instead.
I positioned two on each side under those little plastic knobs so that when he sat down they would go off. I also left the lid up (which we usually keep closed because of the cats) because I was worried that they might go off if I put it down...
I waited and waited - hoping he had to take a crap SOON...
and then I heard: "SNAP! SCUFFLE! MMMMREEEEOOOOOW!!!"
oops...

I ran into the bathroom to find Tweak looking bewildered and half covered in toilet water. It seems he had jumped onto the toilet to get to the sink...only to discover that I, the MEANEST MOMMY IN THE WHOLE WORLD had left the lid up and booby trapped the toilet.

I had to TRULY work hard at laughing quietly because unbelievably - Doug didn't hear a darn thing (I told you he listens to it loud) and so of course, I had to booby trap the commode once again..giggling to myself the entire time...and trying to dry off and console my now stressed out cat. This time, I closed the bathroom doors (yes, we have TWO bathroom doors..strange, I know) to avoid any more cats in need of prozac...

I went back in to watch TV, and about 30 minutes later, Doug FINALLY went into the bathroom. I quickly huddled myself next to the door and covered my mouth to keep myself quiet, Only to hear him PEEING. DARNIT! NO crapping!
I heard him bang down the toilet lid...and SNAP! one of them went off....I thought the plan was foiled - but NAY...he just walked out of the bathroom like nothing happened...

SONUVA...

So after he settled back in with his game - I went and RESET the booby trap AGAIN.
And two hours later, he again went into the bathroom...to BLOW HIS FRIGGIN NOSE. (I swear the ONE time I want him to do his business...) He again, put the lid of the toilet down ( I know, good boy) but this time he HEARD it SNAP! and while I'm standing in the kitchen shaking my fists and going "dammit!" - He goes "what the heck?"
and finds my booby trap...

He slowly walks into the kitchen while I'm standing there smiling and he goes "oh girl, it's ON NOW! I can't believe you actually attempted to do that to me! That woulda scared the crap out of me!"
yeah, if only he actually would CRAP...sheesh

So I laughed and told him about the cat incident and about the second time when he put the lid down. He goes "oh - well I heard the snap, but I figured I'd broken the seat or something"
and I said "SO YOU WALKED OUT AND IGNORED IT???"
"umm, yeah" he says...looking sheepish...

(Those who know us well should be reminded of the "Bamboo Stool Incident" at this moment...I will explain later...)

So anyway, we got a good laugh out of it - and being that Doug has a big mouth, he HAD to call my parents and immediately tell them what a stinker I am.

It was truly probably one of their proudest moments - especially for Dad..hee!

Happy Anniversary

To ME AND THE HUBSTER! We made it three whole years, and we are completely happy and in love. We laugh together and talk together and it truly is a PARTNERSHIP. He's my best friend in the whole world and I'm so glad he married me :)

Now that I've gotten all the mushy stuff out...I just have to say that so far...this day has SUCKED! And it's only 10:30am...

I have to start by explaining that last night, I was getting Isabele's bath water ready...and noticed that it wasn't getting hot. I ran it for like 10 minutes, and it just wasn't getting hot. CRAP! So hubster and I went to the hot water heater which is in the laundry room, and discovered that the pilot lite was blown out. So we moved a bunch of stuff out of the way, grabbed a match, and mark layed down on his belly so he could light the pilot. We followed all the instructions...holding down the little button and everything....and then, it wouldn't stay lit. We did this several times, and I finally called our landlords. Landlady answered the phone, and hen I told her what was going on, she said "well CRAP! LandLORD (meaning her hubby and fixer of all things rental) is out of town!"
LOVELY...
So she gives me his cell phone # and tells me to call him up and tell him what's going on and hopefully he can fix it over the phone.
So, I hopped on the phone and Landlord answered with a mouth full of food, so I feel like a schmoe because I interrupted his meal. I explained what was going on...and he gave me some tips on what to do.
About an hour later, I've talked to him 3 seperate times, and still no luck. Now remember, we have a two year old over who is walking around the house going "I wanna take a bubble bath!"over and over again, 50 million times...Also, when I finally gave up - I put the bbq lighter thingy on the floor and when I put my hand down to push myself up (remember, we had to lie flat on the laundry room floor to see what we were doing) my wrist accidentely touched the metal end of the lighter thing which was friggin HOT, and I burned the heck out of my wrist. It immediately bubbled up and skin peeled off.....I'm on the phone with my landlord, holding my burning and peeling wrist under water, while trying to keep a 2 year old occupied...things were a bit hectic.
So finally, Landlord says he'll have to call someone in the morning...but he needs to make sure that I can be there whenever his fixer guy can show up. So I say I'll figure something out and hope that I can leave the following day when I need to.
My friend came to collect her youngun, and I had to explain that she didn't get a bath because of the hot water situation, which reminds me that there will be NO shower for hubster or I until it's fixed...which sucks. On the other hand, I can't do dishes or laundry either...and that's just a damn shame isn't it?

So finally, friend and child leave...her screaming the entire time because she didn't want to leave. Yeah, because we are so fun and engaging that we spent most of the time we had her trying to fix that darn water heater. Kids crack me up sometimes.
After moving the car seat and loading up all their stuff...they leave...hubster and I watch TV for a while and then settle in for the night.

Flash forward to this morning. I MEANT to get up early and sneak an anniversary card into hubster's car...but nooooooo, my lazy butt didn't get out of bed until 7:45. I think my brain KNEW that I wouldn't be able to take a shower this morning, so it figured "what the heck" and decided to sleep in. It's raining like crazy, and of course it's cold...so a hot shower would be nice. Isn't it funny how when you CAN'T do something, that's when you want to do it the most?
So, I throw on some warm clothes, wash my face, brush my teeth, throw hair up into a ponytail...figuring I'd fix the hair and put on makeup when I get to work. Hubster leaves for work...and I start to leave for work...only...hmmmm....where are my keys?
I search, and search, and search...it's now 8:15...and I'm calling my boss to say "hey, I'm not at work because I can't find my keys". He says "I'm not at work either, so we're CLOSED!"
heh...
so I go back and look EVERYWHERE. I call my friend and ask her to search her car...I call hubster and ask him if he remembers seeing them.
No luck...
I move all the furniture in the living room...I even move the fish tank...I search all the trash cans...the spare room, the bathroom, the kitchen, the den...the laundry room....the car (which I left unlocked)....NOTHING.
It's now 8:30...no keys.
My friend calls and says she remembers I had them in my hand when I was helping get her kid into the car. She also remembers that while she was putting the car seat in, I was holding a two year old, a diaper bag, a box of wipes, as well as my keys. She suggests that maybe I put them on the back of her car so I could get a better grip on the kid....
crap...so I go outside and walk up and down the street...no luck. Now I really start to freak out because what if I DID do that? and what if someone grabbed them? and what if they look at the car key and realize that it says ISUZU on it, and what if they know where I live? and what if they're just waiting for me to leave so they can rob me blind????
Panic sets in...my older neighbors on one side poke their head out their front door and ask why I'm pacing in the middle of the street in the rain...
I tell them what happened and ask them to keep an eye on the place and let me know if any strange people start to cart stuff out of my house...or steal my cats...
Neurotic much? me? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
So Hubster calls back to see if I found them...he says he'll ask his boss if he can run home to give me the spare car key from his key ring. LUCKILY, his boss is merciful, and hubster heads home. Meanwhile, I'm still searching every nook and cranny with a flashlight...on my hands and knees searching under the bed...moving furniture still.
NO luck. Hubster shows up, and I kiss him gratefully...grab a spare house key...tell him "I'm sorry I'm such a blonde...tell your boss I'm sorry I'm such a blonde"
and finally head off to work...driving super slow down the street so I can still search for my keys, just in case. No keys...

My wrist hurts like hell...I'm all bandaged up like I slit my wrists or something, I've had NO shower...so I feel all stinky and nas-tay...not to mention walking out in the rain this morning...I was over an hour late to work this morning...and now have NO work keys which means my boss (who has to have his poor horse put to sleep, so he's not in the best of moods today) has to make me copies. My landlord called and said he's trying to get his fixer guy out this afternoon, and he's supposed to call me - but he's REALLY busy, and he's not sure if he'll make it today.
FLIPPIN LOVELY.

The Sweetest Thang

Last night, the hubster and I were supposed to babysit for a friend of ours who has a two year old little girl. She LOVES coming to our house for some reason...she calls us auntie and uncle...and always wants to ride in our car and take a bubble bath. Anyway, my friend called and asked us to babysit tonight instead, so I went home and was sitting on the couch reading when I heard mark pull up. He poked his head in the front door and said "where's Bella?" and I told him we weren't babysitting after all...he walked in the door and started pouting. I said "what's wrong?" and he said "I got her some toys!" and he pulls out a big box of giant lego's in their own carrying case. He said he figured she'd be bored with the same ole toys that we always have.
I JUST MELTED - I thought that was the sweetest thing ever...and she's not even our kid! What a great man I married...
I told my mom about it later that night and she said "Awwwwwww, well...that proves two things. He's gonna be a great daddy...and you're gonna be broke because neither one of you will stop buying toys!"
Heh

I made a great discovery last night too. I can make my OWN honey bbq wings...like KFC - style..yeah, baby. I like the honey bbq wings at KFC, but I don't like the fact that they are WINGS...I don't like the veins or bones...I'm purely a boneless/skinless kinda girl...hee!
So I bought some frozen tyson chicken crispy strips...dunked them in a mixture of bbq sauce and honey...and cooked em. Halfway through, I took them out and dunked them again....and DAYUM were they good. Hubster was haaaaaaaaaaaaaapy. I also made coleslaw and cheese bread, so I scored some serious points in the dinner department. And now, I can have honey bbq chicken MY way, RIGHT AWAY....WOOHOOOO!

Today is kind of stressful here at work, and I have to babysit tonight - so I'm outta here

Love and Hate..

I have such an odd relationship with my TV. Sometimes when it's on, I just can't stand it anymore and I have to turn it off and sit down with a book for some peace and quiet...and other times, I can't tear myself away from the trash TV. My hubster always laughs at me because I'm the reality trash tv QUEEN. You name it, I probably watch it. I even lowered myself to recording the Super Sweet 16 show on MTV, and I watched it last night...what a trainwreck that show is. Take some snobby stereotype rich girls and throw a big red-carpet like event for their sweet 16. The amount of money they spend just for one birthday party appalls me. What the hell are these parents thinking? How could their kids possibly turn out humble with that kind of upbringing? I know I'll be watching next weeks show though since it IS trash TV after all..heh
I also watched American Idol last night and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the audition process - the rest of the show is pretty boring to me - but to hear all those people who think they can sing is absolutely hilarious. I do feel bad for some of them, but at the same time...don't they have people around them who can tell them how badly they suck? I don't know if I could let a friend who sings badly humiliate themselves on national TV like that...of course alot of them seem pretty stubborn, so that might have something to do with it.
Okay, enough - I've yammered on enough...I'm stealing a MEME from Robyn - here we go:

What color is most reflective of you? Probably Purple...it's very versatile when it comes to moods
How did you get the idea for your journal name? Seinfeld of course, everytime I get stressed I hear Mr. Costanza screaming "Serenity NOW!" and it's always followed by Kramer shouting "Hoochiemama!" at the end of the show. It's a good way to describe how I feel when my brain is overflowing with things to write about.
What time were you born? 3:37 am...what's wierd is, the hubster was born at 10:37am - same minute!
What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing? The radio is set to a country station and it's playing Mud On Your Tires by Brad Paisley (does that make me sound redneck or what?)
Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? I cried during Princess Di's funeral...and I cried when John Ritter died...I cried when they showed Nancy Regan on TV during his services...and I cried when Christopher Reeves died.... - I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of any right now - damn, I'm a big crybaby...
What color underwear are you wearing? This Color Blue
Do you want a baby? Someday, but not quite yet
What does your dad do for a living? He runs a CNC Milling machine that makes racing horseshoes
What does your mom do for a living? She's a signpainter...windowpainter, etc...very artistic!
What is your pet's name? hmmm, well - we've got Tweak - aka. Bubba / Jackson - aka. Lazybutt or Whiner / and Moe - aka. Tiny - and numerous fish with different names
What color are your bedsheets? White with black stripes
Last four digits of your phone number? 4702
What was the last concert you attended? ummm, gotta be the Joan Jett Concert that we stumbled into at the Mid State Fair
Who was with you? Hubster
What was the last movie you saw? Elektra...at the drive in with friends...not my kind of movie...but I DID discover that every woman can fight better while wearing a red corset top!
Who do you dislike most at this moment? That bastard Jonathan from the Amazing Race - and the Mia woman on Trading Spouses....damn how the reality show people can get to me! People can be such jerks!
What food are you craving right now? frozen waffles with butter and syrup
Did you dream last night? I don't remember, I slept like a baby - so I probably didn't
What was the last tv show you watched? Wife Swap
What is your fave piece of jewelry? My wedding ring of course!
What is to the left of you? A crapload of paperwork that I should be working on instead of answering these questions
What was the last thing you ate? Nothing yet, but I'm about to eat a yoplait strawberry yogurt, and a hardboiled egg with salt on it and water...trying to be good!
Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Hubster :)
Write a song lyric that's in your head?

I have a dream, my own...it's mine and mine alone
It's been my friend since I was just a girl
It has a life, it has a heart, has a soul and it's a part
of everything this woman gives the world

And it's a big dream, big enough to share
like a rainbow, hanging in the air
nothing dark, making it come true

Makes me think maybe, God's a woman too
Makes me think maybe God's a woman too...

Who last imed you? Uhhh, it's been a while, but I'd have to say either Amanda or Homey - I can't remember who was most recent...
Where is your signifigant other right now? At home, in bed - sick with a nasty cold
Do you have a crush? Nope - I have some celebrity crushes, but that's normal...right?
What is his name? n/a
What shampoo do you use? Flex extra body - I've always loved the way Flex smells
When was the last time you cut your hair? Oh wow, a LONG time ago...probably around may of 2004
Are you on any meds? Other than my Afrin addiction, no...oh wait...the birth control pill?
Do you have a mental disease? Not that I know of - but something could show up later - hee!
What shirt are you wearing? A long sleeved green shirt that Amanda gave me at Christmas - thanks girl!
What time is it? 10:54am.
What color is your razor? Black I think?
What is your fave frozen treat? umm, ice cream sandwich? klondike bar? Oh no...I just remembered - by far, my favorite treat is the Ice Cream Snickers Bars...YUM - dang, now I'm hungry for chocolate...
Are you sexy? ummm...yeah, at least Hubster says I am :)
Whats your favorite shopping store? Probably Target, Marshalls, or Ross
Are you thirsty? Yes, for a big giant Dr. Pepper - but NOOOO, I'm stuck here with just water...suck
Can you imagine yourself ever getting married? Yeah, because I am..and it's BETTER than I ever imagined


Okay, time to go get some actual work done and bust out this paper work...

A soothing, yet sad, yet coincidental summary...

This is just so odd...
I have to talk about my lunch hour because it relates to the no-good evening from last night.
I stopped by the store to get a card (I actually found a "sorry for the loss of your cat" condolence card...how cool is that??) and some flowers for my poor neighbor lady - and I drove home on my lunch hour to put them in a vase and leave everything on her doorstep.
I had the flowers all ready, and I was writing in the card - when I heard my landlord's truck pull up. I knew that he was going to stop by to check on our heating unit, I was just surprised that he came at the exact hour that I was there. I look out the door and notice THE MISSING DOG in the back of his truck! I run out the door shouting "You found him!" and begin to scratch the dog on the head and tell him that he's naughty...and my landlord tells me that he just wandered back home last night. Right about the time that I realize that the dog is ALONE in the back of the truck - and the other dog (they are always together) is not there...my landlord tells me that the reason he was so upset last night is because they had to put the other dog to sleep on Tuesday..and they're still having a hard time with that - and then one goes missing and they just lost their heads. The other dog was old (although you'd never know it, he had so much energy) and I guess developed some breathing problems and they had to make that horrible decision to put him down.
So anyway, he goes "you come home for lunch? Isn't that kind of far?" and I proceeded to explain to him what happened with the neighbor lady and the cat - and I pointed to her house, since I didn't know her name. He goes "oh, the preacher??" and I said "huh?" and he tells me preacher lady's name and all of a sudden a big lightbulb goes off in my head. I KNEW she looked familiar yesterday, but I thought it was just because we're neighbors. Turns out, she was the associate pastor at a church where I used to babysit in the nursery. It was about 12-13 years ago, so I'm sure she has no idea who I am...and now I know why she looked vaguely familiar. SO WEIRD
So I got good news with the dog being found...
bad news with the other dog being put to sleep...
and weird news, that I actually KNEW the neighbor lady from yesterday without even realizing it...

dang, talk about an emotional rollercoaster...

Horrible, Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Evening...

Yeah...yesterday after 5pm really sucked...
First of all, let me just say that I'm an OVERLY sensitive person when it comes to animals. I remember once in high school, I was on my way to school..and the girl in front of me ran over a cat - and didn't stop...I screamed...and went back to find it, but didn't have any luck. I then cried through my entire first period class and got sent to the counselor. I sometimes freak out and get all emotional whenever I see a stray dog or cat....I truly have to talk myself out of being so neurotic (it doesn't always work) and I NEVER EVER EVER EVER watch Animal Planet. Nope.
So anyway, the day went fine - I was driving home, traffic was light, I was in a good mood. Then I'm driving down my street and notice a person in standing in the road...I park in front of my house and get out of my car, only to realize that the person in the road is a woman crying hysterically and wringing her hands...over what looks like a dead cat in the middle of the street. It was my neighbor a couple of houses down, and the cat was a fat sassy orange kitty that I liked to pet whenever I take walks because he always flopped over and was so lovable.
I rushed over to her and asked what happened and through her sobbing, she tells me that she had just come home and found him like that...
I bit back my tears and reached down and felt him, he was still warm - and not breathing...but he also didn't look like he'd been hit by a car...he looked like he'd just laid down in the street and gone to sleep.
The poor woman was a WRECK, and I felt him all over and showed her that he hadn't been damaged in any way. She explained that he's diabetic and could have had a seizure...
Another neighbor brought a towel and a cardboard box, I carefully wrapped up the sweet orange kitty, and laid him gently in the box. She was so distraught, I know she couldn't have done it herself. We carried the box over to her garage. She kept asking if he was breathing and thinking maybe he was just in a coma....I kept feeling for a heartbeat, but I had to explain to her that I was positive he was gone.
For some ODD reason, I was able to keep myself very calm, other than being a bit teary-eyed.
She called her husband and told him he needed to come home. While me and another neighbor closed up the box and waited there with her until her husband showed up.
I've never actually met this woman, but it didn't seem like a good time for introductions, ya know?
I headed home - opened the door, saw all my kitties greeting me at the door - and completely FELL APART. I was sobbing on the couch, completely overwhelmed with emotion. I think it was just seeing her reaction and how heartbroken she was, and feeling so helpless and not being able to help really...oh it was just awful.
Poor hubster got a bit freaked out when I called him to tell him what happened and I started bawling all over again...I think I scared him.
I finally calmed down and resolved to get her a card and some flowers the next day...hubster came home with dinner...and I was in the bedroom talking with him about it all..when we heard a loud knock on our front door.
I get up and answer it, and my landlord (male) is standing on my doorstep with tears streaming down his face. shocked, I ask him what's wrong...and he says that one of his dogs is missing.
*Hey God, do you think you could refrain from slamming me with TWO animal tragedy's in a matter of hours? I don't think my fragile animal loving side can handle it..mmmmkay?
So he goes on to tell me that it's the big fluffy white husky dog that I love SO MUCH - and says that one of his employees accidentally let him loose, and he'd been missing for hours. He'd driven everywhere and had no luck finding him. He thought perhaps he might try to come back to his old home, so he asked if we could leave our gate open for him, just in case. Of course, I said yes - and I was just so sad because that is the coolest dog, and I could see how upset my landlord was...poor, poor man - he took those dogs EVERYWHERE with him, loved those dogs to peices.

SO - I didn't get much sleep because I kept thinking about the poor woman and the cat, and then every little noise I heard, I'd get up to check the backyard for the dog....

I got some major eye circles going on today...all I can say is that last night sucked - nothing even happened to ME really, but I'm still emotional about it all.

Slacker

I started off so well with this journal - and now, I'm just slacking off..no wonder my mind feels so jumbled with things.
It's still raining here - and I've had my ears constantly listening to the news regarding road closures and the mudslides that happened south of us. Scary stuff, alot of people missing - things like that make me worry.
Yesterday, when I got home...the hubster had the day off, and was reading a book. Sounded like a good idea to me, so after dinner at about 6pm, I grabbed a book myself and sat down on the couch with him and we read and read and read. It was so very cozy sitting in our living room, bundled up with blankets on the couch, and listening to the rain beat down outside while we relaxed with our books. We read until 8pm...when Extreme Home makeover came on...and then we would read during commercials. He finished his book, and I finished mine about 10 minutes later. We've never done that before, and we vowed we'll have to do that more often...it was so relaxing!

Hubster is trying to get me to join a local all women tackle football league. There is a woman he works with who is on the team and said I should join and he could be an asst. coach. - I'm considering it, but I definately need to be in better shape for that. I wouldn't make it through a practice at the point I'm at now. I think it starts in March...time to get my butt in gear! I'm not sure if I want to do it yet, but it sounds kind of like fun :) that's all for now..

Yada, Yada, Yada

Yeah, I've been slacking off in the journaling department...I usually only post when I'm at work and things have been pretty darn busy here these days. The new year started off with me waking up saying "Nooooooooooooo" because we had to drive up to San Francisco for a wedding on New Years Day. It was a nice wedding and fun to see a bunch of people that we only see AT weddings and showers and such.
After having a mini-birthday for hubster's youngest neice, we finally headed home in the POURING rain, which sucked by the way. It needs to at least stop raining long enough for us to get home :)
This week has flown by, and I'm actually looking forward to having this weekend to get myself in order. I want to get our Christmas Tree down and all my "decor" (shyeah right) put away. I also want to reorganize our dresser drawers - finish all our laundry and clean out from under our bed. I'm tired of living in a messy house - but after working, I rarely feel like tackling anything because it's all such a major undertaking. If I can get the major stuff out of the way, I'll feel so much better.

It's supposed to be really STORMING here today - and yet, we've got blue skies...wrong again weather people!