An update of sorts...bullet style

• Hubs left on August 1st for Memphis - a week of work stuff ahead of him
• I have since decided that being a single mom is hard and kinda sucks..
• Adam was super cranky and full of tantrums...I decided he missed his dad and was acting out
• Thursday night, he woke up screaming covered in vomit...
• He then proceeded to wake up several more times throughout the night
• I got about 3 hours sleep total
• Friday morning I discover my little man has a cold...awesome
• Friday night, adam and I pick up hubs at the airport at 9:30pm
• Hubs was having stomach pain and a fever, and decided he needed to get to a hospital because he felt he was having a diverticulitus attack
• I dropped him off at the ER and went home to wait for my dad to come watch Adam
• I got back to the hospital around 10:30pm
• We ended up at the ER until 4:30am Saturday morning
• Came home and climbed into bed at 5am
• Adam woke up at 7:45am
• Hubs felt pretty awful, and slept on and off all day - with us taking his temperature constantly and adam wondering why in the world daddy couldn't play...especially after being gone all week
• By 9:30pm that night, we were waiting for my mom to come stay with adam while we headed back to the ER
• By 1am, hubs was admitted to the hospital
• I got home at 2am and climbed into bed....didn't fall asleep until 3am, and slept fitfully worrying about hubs and feeling weird that he was in the hospital and I wasn't there
• Adam thankfully slept in until 8:30am, so I woke up actually feeling pretty okay with some solid sleep, albeit not long enough
• My mom got an eyefull that morning of how cranky and tantrum filled my little man has been during the time hubs has been gone.
• Luckily she was still willing to take him back to her house so I could go visit hubs.
• I find out when I get there, they still need to keep him another night
• Adam is REALLY acting out now because daddy was here and then he's gone and he just doesn't seem to understand what's going on...
• Finally last night at 6:30pm, hubs is released and allowed to come home...and everyone is happy
• Hubs actually gets up and goes to WORK...of all things
• But he comes home early because he's having some pain and needs rest
• Which of course is hard to do when there is a 2 year old who's thrilled to see you and just wants to play
• Adam and I leave for our mommy and me swim class this afternoon
• After class, my friend Kelli and I are leaving the changing room and the kids start running and chasing each other and suddenly make a break for it around a corner....near the pool
• We take off after them and shout STOP!  and NO!  and her little girl stops....but Adam doesn't...
• The pool is covered and he walks right off the edge...
• I see him go under the water, and the pool cover just envelope around him...
• I don't even think, I just jump in and grab him...with my bag, my keys, my cell phone....everything
• My only thought was getting him out from under that water
• He looks a little surprised, but doesn't cry
• Kelli grabs him from me and I'm just standing in the water with my stomach in my throat
• We slowly walk out and get into the car, dripping wet...no options
• I had to pull over after starting to drive home and allow myself to have a mini-panic attack
• I'm so scared of drowning...I have nightmares about my neices and my adam drowning...
• And I know the image of him falling into that water will haunt me for a while
• But Thank God he's okay
• Tonight he had a major tantrum...I think the worst one ever...and I'm afraid I lost my temper and didn't handle it the way I should have...
• I think I'm emotionally spent after this last week...and his tantrums sometimes send me over the edge and make me lose my patience
• I'm ready for today to be over now - I think I suck at parenting today.
• Please God let tomorrow be better...let this WEEK be better.