Friday, September 30, 2005

Pillow Talk...

Hubster: "You don't even have a, use this one"

Me: (scoots over and grabs the pillow) sings.."put your head on a pilleeeeeeer!" (of course with a honky tonk twang)

Hubster: proceeds to sing "it helps the medicine go down! the medicine go dooooowwwn, medicine go down!"

Me: "uhhh, what are you doin?"

Hubster: "I'm singing along! isn't that how it goes?"

Me: "ummm, well...I was singing a country song and you busted out with some Mary Poppins...what's up with that?"

Hubster: " SOUNDED like it would go..."

We looked at each other and smiled...and of COURSE started to sing "Put your head on a piller, it helps the medicine go down! the medicine go dooooooown, medicine go down - just a head on a piller help the medicine go down! In the most de...light...ful....way!"

Good lord, we're singing Mary Poppins in bed - FUH-REAKS!

of course it just now crossed my mind that I should probably ask how in the heck hubster even KNEW the words to Mary Poppins. Does he watch it with the cats when I'm not home?

Thursday, September 22, 2005

K Doolittle

Yesterday, I was sitting at my desk working (shaddup, I really was working) when I heard a "THONK!" coming from my bosses office. I instantly knew what it was...and I ran over to the window.
I saw a really tiny little bird laying downstairs on the ground. His neck was all twisted and he was laying on his back...I thought for sure he was dead. But then I saw that he was still breathing. So I ran downstairs with some kleenex in hand and picked up the bird. He kind of flopped over and lifted his head to look at me. I was shocked that his neck seemed okay...and I pet him and held him. It seemed like he was really disoriented, and just knocked himself silly.
I put him in a box and proceeded to call several people trying to get advice about what to do. T told me to call the wildlife center, and reminded me that I shouldn't touch the bird because if it's a baby and the momma bird smells human, then they'll abandon him. So I started to freak out...thinking that I'd ruined this bird's chance of going back to his family. I left a message for the wildlife center, and left him in the box to rest.
Finally, before I left work - the wildlife place called me back and reassured me that touching him with my bare hand wouldn't do any harm...that birds really don't have a sense of smell...whew! She told me to hold him in a flat hand and see if he would fly away.
I held him up by the tree outside, and he just kind of hunkered down in my palm and closed his eyes. He obviously wasn't ready to fly.
So we put him back in the box...sealed the lid - and poked holes in the side. I put some water and some birdseed in the bottom of the box...and left him in a dark and quiet place overnight.

He was SO tiny and so cute...I really hoped he'd make it....

This morning, I peeked into the box and he hopped around and chirped at me! So I took the box downstairs and took the lid off. He looked at me and turned his head to the side as if to say "huh? I'm free? I can go now?"

He kinda cruised around in the box, and I reached down to pick him up thinking that he'd fly away - and he did! He flew up into a nearby tree...sat on the branch and chirped and chirped. He flew around from branch to branch, chirping all the while. I could just imagine him telling his friends "hey guys, you would not BELIEVE what I went through yesterday!"

I gotta say, that whole experience was pretty darn cool :)

And something weird? My friend Ani rescued a bird yesterday too - same darn window THONK happened to her. What are the chances?

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Sleepless Nights

Last night, our kitties were baaaaaaaaaaaad...
They decided to do the relay race stampede up and down the hallway at midnight - which sounds like a herd of elephants on our wood floors..and of course we couldn't have lightfooted cats...noooooo - we've got the 15-20 pounders HARUMPING up and down the flippin hallway.
I got up a couple times to whisper "HEY! You three....SHUT.UP.NOW" - mainly because we have a friend staying in the guest room, and I'm sure she was kept awake by the galloping buffalo in the hall.
I would herd them back into our bedroom where they would wrestle and bump into walls and eventually end up chasing each other back down the hallway.
FINALLY - things quieted down....hubster was snoring...Tweak was in his bed next to me...and I was ALMOST asleep....and then I hear the thump-thump-thump-thumping of Jackson and Tiny running once again down the eyes pop open - and suddenly I see two furry things fly up onto the bed RIGHT by hubster's head...and proceed to jump onto our headboard. They knock over a book and a hair band while wrestling RIGHT ABOVE OUR HEADS. I'm whisper-shouting at them...and hubster is still snoring away. I finally get Jackson to jump down, and I leave Tiny up there. I lay down just as Tiny decides to peek out the window behind our bed. He then decides that the 2 inch ledge of the window is actually big enough for his butt..which it's not...and JUMPS onto the ledge. Of course he falls...grasps onto the curtains and flails his legs around...which in turn, knocks over EVERYTHING on our headboard. Hubster and I get hit the head with water bottles and books and glasses and even a LAMP....
Tiny finally jumps down and runs off - leaving hubster looking bewildered, and me laughing so hard that I've buried my head into my pillow.
It was a minute and a half of pure commotion...
Hubster goes "what just happened?"
Through my laughter, I made an attempt to explain it, but he just shook his head and said "geez, those cats..." and rolled right over and went back to sleep.

I looked down at the end of the bed, and Tiny and Jackson were sitting next to each other on the footboard and looked at me as if to say "whuuuuuut? what'd we do?"

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Ugliest Thing...

Last year, around Christmas-time...hubster and I started gift searching for some married friends (I shall call them D and N) who live up in the Bay Area. We went to local store known for oddball finds, and low prices. We were in the housewares section and kept finding some of the UGLIEST items. We were laughing over a ceramic high heeled shoe, that was covered in porcelain filagree and gold paint, and commenting on why anyone would buy such a dust collector...when it suddenly dawned on us, that we should find a really hideous gift for our friends. And thus started the "Ugly gift that never dies" game.
We looked at the price tag on the shoe, and decided against spending the $8 and headed over to the clearance section. Which is where...for $2...we found the perfect item.

Behold, the ugliest teapot you ever did see...

Of course we bought it...and proceeded to buy them a REAL present as well because we just couldn't actually be THAT mean.

We lovingly wrapped up the teapot, as well as their other gift...and brought it with us to the Bay area where we spent the holidays with hubster's family.

We met our friends at Starbucks, and left the real gift in the car. Sitting down to chat with our coffee, hubster immediately presented the gift. They opened it carefully and proceeded to bring forth the teapot in all it's glory. I think I may have heard a gasp from other people at the crowded cafe, as the bright colors flashed around the small room. Hubster and I could barely contain our laughter while waiting for them to comment on our generous gift. D politely says "wow, it'!" - Meanwhile N was grinning wide-eyed...I could almost hear her brain thinking "good GAWD where's the nearest dumpster?" Hubster and I burst out laughing and when they realized it was just a joke - we went to get their real present out of the car.

Fast forward to several months later - D and N come to visit us. We had a lovely weekend full of relaxing and fun...yet, when they left...we mysteriously found THE TEAPOT sitting on the dresser in our guest room.

I emailed N the next day and told her that she sucks...and we both agreed "Let the games begin"

Fast forward to now - where I've had the teapot sitting on my file cabinet at work (BIG conversation piece, lemme tell ya). D and N just happen to be traveling in a foreign land...and little do they know, I have a way to find out exactly where they are staying.

Soon, they will find out that a lovely surprise has been Fed-Exed to them from the other side of the world...

We're kinda hoping they leave it there, so we can go back and get that ugly ceramic shoe...I'm sure it must be on clearance by now!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Mord Wix-up

When my mom and my aunt were younger...I think my mom was about 11 or 12 - which means my aunt would be around 14 (I think), they shared a funny incident that has been told in our family ever since.
Apparantly, they shared a room when they were younger - and their dresser was positioned right by the doorway, in such a fashion that if any of the drawers were left open, the person entering the room was sure to trip over it.
One day, my mother was rummaging around the bottom drawer...and was so caught up in finding what she was looking for, that she LEFT THE DRAWER OPEN.

My aunt proceeded to walk into the room, and immediately banged her shin really hard on the drawer. aunt is a very precise and dramatic person with an amazing vocabulary. She was so filled with RAGE that her little sister had left that drawer open without ANY THOUGHT...that she stood there shaking with anger and gritting her teeth.
At this point I imagine my mom sitting on the bed with a drawing in her lap...eyes bulging...and her mouth hanging open while she waited to see what my aunt would do to her.
Anyway, when my aunt was finally able to stop shaking with anger long enough to get words out - she screamed out...


Which has become a life-long family saying ever since...and we laugh and laugh about it. Anytime someone does something maddening or frustrating - we always bust out with the Fupid Stool saying.

Which brings me to today. Hubster and I had to go to DMV this morning to take care of some business...and we stopped for lunch at a local deli. We were sitting there eating, and he was looking through a car catalog pointing out all the cars he wanted to me...he started to have a sneezing fit, and yet was still talking about cars inbetween sneezes. He was describing in detail about a particular car, still sneezing...when he said...

"it's even got the tindows winted"

We looked at each other and busted out laughing.
When we got back into the car, I laughed again and said ...

"tindows winted...HA! you fupid stool.."