Thursday, February 25, 2010


Sometimes I get tired of cleaning the kitchen floor after Adam has dropped or thrown food everywhere (we're working on it)....but then I remind myself that someday he'll be teenager who will most likely grunt his way through dinner while shoveling food in his piehole, and I should enjoy these times when he's a wee one in a high chair interacting with me.

Sometimes I get tired of cleaning sippy cups...but then I remind myself that one day he'll be big enough for regular cups and I'll probably be cleaning spilled milk off the floor and table, so I should enjoy these moments of "containment" - not to mention the fact that he likes milk, because Lord knows how many times I fought my parents over the whole "drink your milk" issue. To me, milk is for cereal. The End.

Sometimes I get tired of picking up toys or stepping on blocks or books that have been strewn all over the living room...but then I remind myself that I never feel comfortable in people's houses who are perfect and immaculate. I'm much more "at home" at a house that's lived in and showing signs of life everywhere...mail on the counter, dishes in the sink, toys scattered about...that's a HOME.

Sometimes I don't want to make the I don't.

Sometimes I get sick of the tantrums and whining and fussing ...but then I remind myself that when he's older, and we have bigger problems to deal with, I will look back on these days and think about how easy it was.

Sometimes when he's teething and being super clingy and just wanting to be ON me all day...and I get frustrated because I have other things I need to be doing...I have to remind myself that one day, he'll be too big to cuddle with, and so I kiss his head and squeeze my arms around him and inhale that toddler boy smell and try and sear it all into my brain, so I won't forget what it's like because it's all going by so fast.

Sometimes I feel like he must be so bored with just ME all the time...but then I remind myself that one day he'll be off at school all day, and I will miss him.

Sometimes while running errands I get tired of having to take him in and out of the carseat constantly...and then I remind myself that one day he'll be DRIVING and can do errands for me :) (and I will be totally stressed out at home worrying about him being a leadfoot like his mother)

Sometimes I wish he could talk more and communicate with me better instead of saying "Oh NO!" 5932873 times a day....but then I remind myself that when he can talk...means he can also talk BACK.

Sometimes I wish he'd be easier about going down for a nap...but then I remind myself that one day he won't be taking naps at ALL, and that will suck.

Sometimes I really wonder if I want another one. But then I remind myself how much fun (okay yeah, and not so fun sometimes) it was growing up with a brother, and I want him to have a sibling to get in trouble with and teach things to.

Sometimes I get tired of all this mommy business...but then he smiles at me with his eyes sparkling, or he puts his chubby little hand in mine, or he leans in and puts his soft little head on my shoulder and quietly whispers "mama". And my heart squishes up into my throat and fills my eyes with tears because I can't even comprehend how I feel in that moment.

Sometimes I wonder who he will grow up to be...what kind of teenager...what kind of man - and I feel heavy with the weight of that responsibility. But then I remind myself that he will be his own person, with his own brain and his own opinions and his own thoughts, and it's important that I teach him and be a good role model, but also important that I let him find himself and go his own way.


Sunday, February 07, 2010

And here we are at Day 3...

Today we had our first Battle Royale about going to sleep without a paci. Night sleeping hasn't been an issue thus far, tonight was once again not a problem at all. But today was the first day we've attempted naptime (day 1 we didn't decided to ditch it until bedtime, and yesterday he didn't nap). I thought we were in the clear because I gave him kisses and laid him down and left the room, closing the door as I usually do. He was fine for about 5 minutes and then the crying started. And then screaming. And then gagging and coughing and I went in there with a bucket prepared for a puking session. Luckily, I got to him in time and calmed him down - but then he thought it was playtime. I closed his bedroom door to shut us both in there, which pissed him off...but I was determined that he would take a nap, and do so without a pacifier. I decided my main goal would be to remain calm and not get frustrated because that seems to be my biggest problem, and he senses that and just feeds off it and then we're both mad and it escalates from there. So this time, I just settled myself in for a long fight and as calmly as possible kept telling him that it was naptime and he needed to lay down and go to sleep. He kept thinking it was playtime, and I kept telling him no, and just repeating my naptime mantra to him over and over, and he would scream and cry and crumple to the floor and he kept trying to open his bedroom door and when I'd say no, he'd have another tantrum. It was an ordeal for him....and I knew that if I'd just give him a paci, he would settle down and go to sleep as he was SO tired - but then I also knew we'd be starting at square one all over again and we needed to just get this tough part over with already. It was hard....but 45 minutes later, I emerged from his room victorious. (hubs will tell you I actually came out humming the theme to Rocky and pumping my fists in the air)He was in is crib and fast asleep with no paci. WHEW. He slept for 2 hours with no problems. Very cool.
I'm wondering what tomorrow will be like during naptime, as thus far - the nights haven't been an issue AT ALL. I am determined though darn it. That kid will NOT break me! hehehe
If I have to sit in his room another 45 minutes tomorrow, I will do it. I feel like if we can just get through another few days, we'll be in the clear!

*I've also learned that staying calm is absolutely KEY for me. I seem to get frustrated too often with him sometimes and it doesn't do either one of us any favors, so this is something I really need to work on!

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Operation Ditch-the-Paci Day 2

Today we had my 3 neices all day so my brother and sister in law could get their house cleaned up and ready to move in tomorrow. They are awesome kids, very helpful and hilarious. They all talk ALOT though, and our house has wood floors, so it just seems louder in here somehow. Anyway, it was nice to have them and they entertain Adam really well. Gracie, the youngest (who is 4) even changed a diaper and got him into his PJ's for me - she's a little mother hen that one.
He totally skipped a nap because there was NO WAY he was going to sleep with all "his girls" here, so we didn't get to see how he does during a nap without the paci - but he was pretty darn tired by the time bedtime rolled around, and there were a few tears, but I honestly don't think they were paci related...more like he was just overly tired and didn't want his fun day to end. But after a minute or two, all was quiet and he is currently passed out in there - NO PACI...woooo!
So - Day 2 is officially a success - no drama. I'm starting to wonder if he even realizes they are gone. Maybe his whole paci addiction isn't even really HIS thing - but more MY thing? Like, I think he needs it for comfort, but he doesn't really. for thought.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Trying Not to Count my Chickens...

Tonight...we decided to ditch the pacifier. Cold Turkey. Just like that. No more. Fin.

Our pediatrician told us we should try and be done with it by the time he was a year old. Well obviously that didn't happen - although shortly after his first birthday, we did stop letting him have it at random times during the day and kept it strictly for naps and bedtime only. But over the last 9 months, the paci has definately been a huge part of his sleeping routine...and I've had it in my head that I really wanted to stop that habit before he turned two. SO - now that he's less then 3 months from being two (OH MY GAWD, how did that happen?), I suddenly got it stuck in my craw that we needed to ditch that sucker pronto before we just kept procrastinating. Tonight, I googled and read tips and read other parents advice and found lots and lots of people with 4 and 5 year olds who still had a "binky" and really not wanting that to be us - we decided that all the suggestions for weaning or sabotaging didn't really feel right. We figured we'd just hide all the ones we could find and put him to bed like normal only without the paci and see what happened. Might as well start now right?
Well I thought there would be whining or crying or maybe even puking...and yet? There was none of that.
We kissed him good night, we put him in bed without the paci, he rolled over and went to sleep. Just like that.
It can't be that easy - can it?

Monday, February 01, 2010

99 Things

I saw this on another blog and thought it was kinda I decided to post one for myself. I'd love to see other people's lists, so if you post one- let me know in the comments so I can go see!

(things I HAVE done are in Red)

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightening storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagra Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung Karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been inside an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalum
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (only if a fish counts!)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee