Reminders...

Sometimes I get tired of cleaning the kitchen floor after Adam has dropped or thrown food everywhere (we're working on it)....but then I remind myself that someday he'll be teenager who will most likely grunt his way through dinner while shoveling food in his piehole, and I should enjoy these times when he's a wee one in a high chair interacting with me.

Sometimes I get tired of cleaning sippy cups...but then I remind myself that one day he'll be big enough for regular cups and I'll probably be cleaning spilled milk off the floor and table, so I should enjoy these moments of "containment" - not to mention the fact that he likes milk, because Lord knows how many times I fought my parents over the whole "drink your milk" issue. To me, milk is for cereal. The End.

Sometimes I get tired of picking up toys or stepping on blocks or books that have been strewn all over the living room...but then I remind myself that I never feel comfortable in people's houses who are perfect and immaculate. I'm much more "at home" at a house that's lived in and showing signs of life everywhere...mail on the counter, dishes in the sink, toys scattered about...that's a HOME.

Sometimes I don't want to make the bed....so I don't.

Sometimes I get sick of the tantrums and whining and fussing ...but then I remind myself that when he's older, and we have bigger problems to deal with, I will look back on these days and think about how easy it was.

Sometimes when he's teething and being super clingy and just wanting to be ON me all day...and I get frustrated because I have other things I need to be doing...I have to remind myself that one day, he'll be too big to cuddle with, and so I kiss his head and squeeze my arms around him and inhale that toddler boy smell and try and sear it all into my brain, so I won't forget what it's like because it's all going by so fast.

Sometimes I feel like he must be so bored with just ME all the time...but then I remind myself that one day he'll be off at school all day, and I will miss him.

Sometimes while running errands I get tired of having to take him in and out of the carseat constantly...and then I remind myself that one day he'll be DRIVING and can do errands for me :) (and I will be totally stressed out at home worrying about him being a leadfoot like his mother)

Sometimes I wish he could talk more and communicate with me better instead of saying "Oh NO!" 5932873 times a day....but then I remind myself that when he can talk...means he can also talk BACK.

Sometimes I wish he'd be easier about going down for a nap...but then I remind myself that one day he won't be taking naps at ALL, and that will suck.

Sometimes I really wonder if I want another one. But then I remind myself how much fun (okay yeah, and not so fun sometimes) it was growing up with a brother, and I want him to have a sibling to get in trouble with and teach things to.

Sometimes I get tired of all this mommy business...but then he smiles at me with his eyes sparkling, or he puts his chubby little hand in mine, or he leans in and puts his soft little head on my shoulder and quietly whispers "mama". And my heart squishes up into my throat and fills my eyes with tears because I can't even comprehend how I feel in that moment.

Sometimes I wonder who he will grow up to be...what kind of teenager...what kind of man - and I feel heavy with the weight of that responsibility. But then I remind myself that he will be his own person, with his own brain and his own opinions and his own thoughts, and it's important that I teach him and be a good role model, but also important that I let him find himself and go his own way.

Fin.