Tuesday, July 22, 2008

A Response...

Thank you everyone for all of your thoughts/opinions/etc. about the sleeping issues. I feel the need to respond to April's comment...I DO NOT think you and Jeannette are nuts! I am a huge believer in doing what works - and I think every person's journey through this whole parenthood thing is different. I'm reading the no-cry sleep solution book because it was recommended by a fellow mom, and because I figure it's worth a shot before going through the torture of letting him cry. Honestly, at nighttime, he's not that bad. He usually falls asleep around 10pm...wakes up around 3 or 4am...gets changed, eats, and then is right back in bed 30 minutes later...and then he'll usually sleep until around 7 or so. We do have the oddball days where he wakes up more often...or even the oddball days where he'll sleep from 10pm until 8am the next morning. He just goes through different spurts now and then. I may very well end up having to let him cry, but I honestly feel like he's too little right now. Some of you may agree with me, and some may not - but that's just how I feel.
I'm only partway through the book, and there are a few things I disagree with...a friend of mine is reading a "cry it out" type book - so we're going to swap and take from each book what we can and leave the rest. Every baby is so different, you know?
My biggest challenge lately is naps - or lack thereof. I can't let him cry it out during the day because of my work phones...our house isn't big enough that my customers wouldn't hear him screaming in the background. I should probably try it over a weekend, but somehow it seems lately we've always been out and about and unable to really focus on changing his sleep habits.
He's not difficult to get to sleep at all...it's just that he sleeps for 10 minutes and then "BINK" eyes open, wide awake and ready to play. And then a couple hours later we do it all over again...until around 9 or so when he's just plain exhausted and fighting it with every ounce of stubborness he has, until he finally collapses at 10pm.
He is also not used to his crib yet, and seems to wake up EVERY time I put him in there. He'll stay in there for a while and play and stare at his mobile...but he won't sleep no matter what. I feel like the space might be too big for him, and my sister (who is visiting currently from Minnesota) suggested putting a rolled up blanket in the middle to sort of seperate it during his naptime until he gets used to the crib....said she had to do that with my nephew.

I also struggle with helping him get to sleep every time instead of letting him fall asleep on his own. He's only done that a handful of times - and the thing is, I LIKE rocking him to sleep - it's like our time together (maybe since I'm not nursing it's like my bonding time or something?) - but I just worry that I'm setting myself up for problems in the future with him being able to self soothe himself to sleep. Part of me feels like it doesn't matter at this age, and I should just do what I want - but another part of me feels like it's my responsibility to teach him to not be so needy of me...not just for my own sake, but for anyone who watches him as well.

Overall, I guess our sleep issues aren't too bad considering I'm getting a decent night of sleep - but on those oddball days like my last post when I'm stumbling around bleary eyed and trying to remember my own name...it seems alot worse. ha!

I like to ask other mom's what they've dealt with and how and sort of arm myself with different methods and advice so that I can try this and try that and use everyone else's expertise until I find one that works for my kid. We did this at the hospital too - every nurse we came across had a different method of burping, so we started asking EVERY different nurse what their method was, so by the time we came home - we had armed ourselves with plenty of different positions to try once we were home and he was fighting the belly bubbles.
I'm so impressed with other mom's and the knowledge that comes from experience - I've learned alot of tricks of the trade just by asking questions.
So thanks everyone - I feel like you all are a wealth of information out there ...and I like hearing what everyone else has gone through in certain situations and what works for you :)


April said...

I meant "nuts" in the best possible sense of the word :-) I think you are smart to read as much as you can, ask for as much advice as you can, and then do whatever you think is best. I had a HARD TIME getting RED to go down tonight. I ended up rocking her to sleep and I LOVE that time too. I have been rocking her a lot more lately and loving every minute of it because I know at 22 months that I am not going to be able to do it for too much longer. I usually rock her for a while and then put her down awake...but not tonight. I rocked her to sleep because she was having such a hard time. There is no hard and fast rule over here. We are flexible and try to always do what is best for our kids. You will figure out a pattern that works for you. Give yourself a little time. I know it feels like you never had a life without him in it but he has only been here for three months. You guys will figure it out :-)

samantha jo campen said...

Maybe, re the crib thing: don't let him play in there. Have it ONLY used for sleep. He may associate that with playing and not want to do anything else. Plus the whole "keep his nursery super dark, cool, etc" We also use a $12 box fan as white noise. Works like a charm. I like that option as opposed to a white noise machine because it's dual purpose. Can cool his room (or anywhere else in the house) and calm him down/not wake him up from other house noises. Other than that, I wish you the best of luck. Sleep training sucks. But it's worth it in the end and no matter what, this is just a phase. Only temporary.