Rainy day

Today was a school day for the little man (who recently turned FOUR....catch up on the next post!) - and as I was headed to pick him up it started POURING rain which is when I sadly realized that I had left our Georgia outside, poor pooch!
So we headed right home and although adam and I had big plans to work on our garden today after school - no such luck.  So I set him up on my computer so he could play his "games" as he calls them (starfall.com...free and easy stuff for kids).
I looked at this child sitting in my big ole chair at my desk and he looked so tiny.  Way too small to actually know how to use a mouse and play computer games by himself...and yet, there he is, happy as can be and doing it all on his own.   It's no wonder he knows how to use the ipod better then I do!

Meant to be

How do I even start this post?  I debated saying anything at all on here - but this is about my life right?  Gotta take the good with the bad...

Fact is, hubs and I recently became members of a club we never wanted to join.  A club with MANY members.  We are no exception.  There are no rules. 

We got a positive pregnancy test 4 days after our tenth wedding anniversary at the end of January. We were so excited, we took test after test and proceeded to tell the whole family...our coworkers, our close friends...our son who loved to talk about being a "big brother".

But at 10 weeks, we had to say goodbye.  It was alot harder then I expected.  Both emotionally and physically.

For a little while we got to think about holding a tiny new little version of us

For a little while I ate ice cold fruit like a maniac just like I did when I was pregnant with adam

For a little while we got to walk past the ultrasound pictures and smile

For a little while we tossed around baby names (and vetoed most of each others picks)

For a little while Adam would talk about his baby brother CONVINCED it was a boy and tell me all the things we needed, like a car seat...and "he'll sleep in my bed with me!"...

For a little while I was exhausted and found myself dozing on the couch in the middle of the afternoon while Adam watched tv

For a little while I was thrilled not to have any morning sickness and thought Adam was probably right about it being a boy

For a little while, I felt very fragile and precarious about being pregnant....and then had an ultrasound and found a silent, motionless screen where there used to be a promising little flutter.

Call it a mother's intuition.  I just knew.

For a little while I couldn't decide whether to let it happen naturally or get a D & C...but then my body decided for me and I canceled my appointment

In hindsight...I wish I'd gotten the D & C after all because THAT was an awful experience. 

For a little while we were pregnant...and now we're not.

We are sad.  For many reasons.  Mostly the thought of what could have been.

I cry every time Adam talks about the baby that "went away".  He asks questions why, and I have to honestly say "I don't know".  He says he really wanted a baby brother and he is sad too.

Damn that hurts.

October 20th is going to be a date I will remember forever...my due date.  I'm not sure why, but I just know that 30 years from now, I will still remember that date.

The stories that have poured out of friends and the realization of just how many women have been through this.  They all remember.

Women are so strong.  

There is no way around it - the whole thing just sucks.   I know there are bigger reasons, and it was meant to be, etc, etc, etc....

It still sucks.

So we buck up and we put the ultrasound pictures away and we repack the maternity clothes and the baby name book, and we go to work and go about our daily tasks and we keep busy and we move on.

And now I want a margarita...or two...or five.

Inside...work in progress

I honestly sucked at taking pictures throughout the whole house process, mainly I think because we were so busy trying to get everything (and I mean everything!)  painted before we could move in.   I did find some pictures though to help give an idea of how different it looks now.
Here is the "heart" of the house...the kitchen/dining area. This picture was taken while the previous owners still lived here.  Our offer had been accepted (it was a short sale) and this was our 2nd walkthrough:

As you can see, it was pretty cluttered with ALOT of colors going on.   But we saw good bones in this house....and we were able to overlook all the cosmetic stuff we knew we could change.

Here is the kitchen area on the day we got the keys and went in to start cleaning...

There was alot of random trash left behind...a dishwasher full of dishes, cupboards with dishes...closets with all kinds of miscellaneous debris.   Here was the garage...

We spent an entire day just cleared all the STUFF out of the house.  We opened all the windows and just threw everything along the side of the house knowing we had a few dump runs in our future.  Here is the trash pile we ended up with that evening...(pictures are blurry, not sure why...sorry)

I could go on and on about all the stuff left behind, but it makes me mad when I think about it too much....so at any rate - we cleaned out the house, and the next day we started painting.  And spent the next 3 weeks doing nothing BUT painting.
We have these awesome cathedral ceilings with fabulous big windows....but of course that means we had to paint on an extension ladder.

(see that little patch of mustard/gold?  that's the color that whole wall used to be)
I love color and didn't think I'd want to paint the inside of our house white....but I think we were so happy to get rid of the orange and burgandy and mustard/gold, we ended up choosing a color called swiss coffee, not ultra white, but pretty close to white.
We then chose a greenish color called "green tea" for an accent wall in dining room and carried it over into the kitchen.  And we painted the cabinets a cream color.  We took all the doors off and are in the process of sanding and painting those.  It took FIVE coats of paint to cover that awful orange on those cabinets - but totally worth the work involved. 

SIGH - man, did it feel good to paint over all those colors!   Fresh and clean...out with the old - we covered up the gold!   hahahaa
These pictures were from before we actually moved in - so I will take some updated pictures at some point.

We also ripped up all the carpet and flooring and put in laminate floors to match the wood trim around teh windows in all the living spaces and new carpet in all the bedrooms...

We now have a large area rug in the living room and one in the dining room as well which helps warm things up and taper down the noise level as well.

More to come!

House stuff...

Soooo, the house.   First off, we LOVE our new house.  LOVE.  It's so much better then we ever imagined our first house would be.  We kinda thought we'd be living in a tiny two bedroom condo with no yard, or a tiny beach shack in the crappy part of town.  We straight up lucked out with this one, with the loan we got and the price of the house, and the fact that it was a short sale and still everything went pretty smoothly (few hiccups here and there, but nothing really major).  We needed a house that was thrashed enough that the price would be low, but not so thrashed that we couldn't slowly fix it up ourselves.  This house was on the market for 84 days when we went to look at it and we knew immediately it had good bones and it was mostly just cosmetic work needed.   We were shocked that nobody had snatched this place up - so we truly feel like we were just meant to live here.
We are so blessed.

This is the house as we were trying to figure out a color for the exterior.  It was painted white with yellow trim, but the eaves were never painted, so they were a weird mauve color.  It just really needed a fresh and clean update.   We started by getting a new garage door (old one was broken and had a large gash in it)

We were drawn to greens, but our neighbors house is green and we didn't want to be copycats.  So then we found ourselves drawn to gray with white trim.  And this is what we ended up with.

Right now it looks a bit drab but we intend to get a RED front door - and some colored pots for plants, etc.  to help liven it up a bit.   We are a work in progress over here :)

We have had to paint the entire inside, thus haven't been able to do much on the yards, front or back.  We are currently working on remodeling one of the bathrooms as well as painting kitchen cupboards (which is a whole other blog post...yikes).

Slow going what with jobs and LIFE and all - but it sure is fun to be able to do work on our own house.  After almost 10 years of living in rentals that we wanted to do so much to, but didn't want to spend the time or money on something that wasn't ours....we finally have something that is OURS.  Such a good feeling.  And it still hasn't really sunk in yet.

We live on a cul-de-sac with 7 houses total.  5 of them are families about our age with kids about Adam's age.  Then there is a couple across the street who don't have kids, but feel like they do because of the whole "it takes a village" aspect of living on a cul-de-sac.  And then we have the token crazy lady who people try and avoid if possible.  So far, she's been nice to us - but other neighbors have some stories...so the crazy might show itself at some point.

It's like a 50's movie here sometimes.  Always neighborhood kids to play with and adults to chat with.  We actually did a cul-de-sac progressive dinner around Christmastime and we all got sitters and went house to house and it was so much fun.  I'm so amazed and thrilled at how great everyone is here and how well everyone gets along, including the kids!   We could NOT be happier about the location we moved into.  We seriously have our village now...and it's such a good feeling.

So far Adam is really happy with the move and seems to like it here (even if his goal in life is to torture our pets...sigh)

And yet, with all the poking and prodding and hugging and kissing and loving him nearly to death...this cat still sleeps with on his bed with him every night.   Unbelievable.

A to Z

Saw this on "Two Adults, One Brown Baby" and thought it looked fun...maybe something to help me get back into the blogging world since I've been gone since friggin OCTOBER.   Gah!
Here goes - if you participate, link in the comments!

A to Z


A. Age: 34

B. Bed size: Queen.  Wanted a King but before we got married and were bed shopping, hubs balked and said it was too big and he wanted to be snuggly.  Now after 10 years we are both wishing we had gotten a king.  HehC. Chore that you hate: Scrubbing the shower is a pain in the ass.  OH!  and putting laundry away.   I can do the laundry and fold the laundry - but I HATE putting it all away.  It's not unusual for us to live with piles of folded clean clothes on the table or the dresser.  Lame, but there it is.

D. Dogs: LOVE. in fact, I used to be a cat person, but now I think I'm a dog person.  My Georgia is the sweetest.  I can't imagine not having a dog. 

E. Essential start to your day: Stumbling blindly to the bathroom to pee

F. Favorite color: Green or possibly blue.

G. Gold or silver: Silver

H. Height: 5'2 and 3/4...must have the 3/4

I. Instruments that you play: Piano and I played the flute about 25 years ago, ha!

J. Job title: Contract Manager. Although it's more like "she who answers the phones and does all things billing and money related"

K. Kids: My sweet boy Adam

L. Live: California, the central coast

M. Mothers Name: Marilyn

N. Nicknames: K, Auntie, Robyn (although that's from years ago), Babe

O. Overnight hospital stays: Six - one in 1999 - 3 in 2000 and 2 in 2008

P. Pet peeves: Bad drivers and people who chew with their mouth open

Q. Quote from a movie: Hubs and I will shout "Two dollars!  I want my Two dollars!" often...from the movie Better Off Dead.  Or "Put the money in my hand little man" from Clerks.  Or "I gotta dollar, I gotta dollar, I gotta dollar hey, hey, hey, hey!"  from The Little Rascals

R: Right or left handed: Right

S: Siblings: One older brother, and one older half-sister who I didn't know about until my early twenties

T. Time you wake up: I am not a morning person...and I'm usually up super late, so I sleep until about 8am when my work phones start ringing.  Boy sleeps until 8:30, woot!   Unless it's a school day and then I get up at 7:45.  And by get up, I mean push the snooze button 3 times and then rush around like a mad woman and get out the door late for school with unbrushed hair and a half dressed kid.  I really need to work on that.

U. Underwear: Sad (agreed K!) (note to self, buy new underwear)

V. Vegetable (s) you hate:  Green peppers and fennel

W. What makes you run late:  Myself because I am unorganized and have no sense of urgency

X. Xrays you've had:  both wrists, both ankles, several fingers, and chest

Y. Yummy food that you make:  Hot artichoke cheese dip, potato salad, lemon dill chicken, enchiladas, and chocolate cake.  Now I'm hungry

Z. Zoo animal: Monkeys.  I love watching monkeys.

Reaching out...

Hubs and I feel like our relationship started at a wedding.  Our dear friend Allison married the love of her life Nick (an Australian) on November 11th, 2000.....and my BFF (her sister) arranged it so mark and I would sit together at their reception.   If not for them, who knows if we would have gotten together!

Allison and Nick went back to Australia and started their life together and had two beautiful and sweet little girls.   We miss them a ton, but luckily they have been able to come to the states at least once a year and stay for weeks at a time to visit their family here.
At one point during their last visit here, Nick was able to go dirt biking with a friend in the valley - and unfortunately contracted valley fever which turned into fungal meningitis.  Of course they didn't find this out until he was back in Australia and very sick...and it took the doctors over there forever to figure out what it was.  He's been so sick and it's been very scary.  They are desperate to save his life at this point and feel that he needs treatment here in the states...except since he's an Australian (allison and the girls are american citizens) he would have no medical insurance.  
They have started a website to explain the situation and I wanted to share it so hopefully we can get him here and get him WELL.
We really love this guy and his family, and we simply can't imagine any outcome other then him making a full and complete recovery from this nasty illness.
There are 22 million people in Australia and Nick is the ONLY ONE there with this disease.

I have no idea how many people read this silly blog - but I felt it was worth a shot to post his story here.  God works in mysterious ways...and we are praying so hard that Nick will be healed!

http://www.millionto1.org/

Please send a shout-out to the Man upstairs for our dear friend Nick and his family!

As Requested...

Hair before...

I'm ashamed to admit that I had to search for this picture and it's almost a year old...so my hair was actually longer then this when I cut it - but you get the idea....it was LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG.
(I donated it which is why I let it get so ridiculously long)

Hair after...

 I always feel like such an idiot taking pictures of myself...

 I really like it...although there are times when I wish my hair was long again so I could just braid it or throw it up in a clip.  It's harder to get out of the way when it's this short - but it seems to suit me.  Hubs says it matches my personality better...ha! 

This is our new house....this is a crappy picture of the place - but it's the first picture I took of it when I was sitting in my car waiting for our real estate agent...before we'd seen the inside (which was a disaster) and before we put in an offer.   Who knew a little over a month later we'd have the keys in our hand!

I have lots more pictures to share...but for now, here's the facts:

It's in Nipomo which is about 15 minutes south of where we live now.
It's on a cul-de-sac which we LOVE.
Most of the neighbors seem to be about our age with kids about Adam's age...awesomeness
It's 3 bedrooms/2 baths...and a 2 car garage which we are absolutely giddy about (no garage where we live now)
We spent all afternoon hauling CRAP out of the place because the previous owners left a ton of stuff behind (will snap a picture of the trash pile tomorrow)
and we have ALOT of work to do...painting, painting and more painting.  Cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning.  New carpets, new flooring, new doors....blah, blah, blah.  It's a project house.  But we're just happy it's not a 2 bedroom 800 square foot shack like we almost bought 3 years ago for more money..ha!  

This house was sooooo meant to be.  I can't even explain all the little things that just fell into place...God seriously had plans for us to live here.  We are so excited...and so grateful.

Stay tuned!

Loves...

Love...that today I am officially 34 years old and I still get carded

Love....that I have a sassy newish haircut instead of the long hippy mess it used to be

Love...that we are days away from closing escrow on our first house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ohmigodohmigodohmigod)

Love...that I sent pictures in of my broken stroller and that even though it's been almost 4 years and I have no reciept they sent me a BRAND NEW one.  Unbelievable.

Love...that our landlords are letting us store our packed boxes next door for FREE so we don't have to rent a storage unit, or stumble around boxes for the next month

Love....that although we have tons of work to do on the new house, it's OURS, so if we wanted to paint it purple with yellow polka dots we could (I won't...I'm just sayin I COULD)

Love...that my son really loves school - so much...and he's starting to write his name

Love...that we took him to Disneyland for the first time and he can't stop talking about how awesome it was

Love...that he loves roller coasters as much as I do - and that he scoffed at how not scary the haunted mansion was

Love...that we are all healthy - I'm trying to be thankful for that everyday....knowing what other people are dealing with these days :(

Love...that I married my best friend and after almost 10 years of marriage, we are about to embark on a new adventure together

Love...that my boy will randomly give me kisses and tell me he loves me....and that he'll says to hubs "daddy, you're my best friend"   Heart. exploding.

Love...that I have so much to be thankful for.

The Darndest Things...

Scene:   Adam and I lying in bed reading an alphabet book together.

Me:   Letter H...H is for....
(picture of a beehive)
Adam:   Honey House
Me:  Honey House?  It's a hive!
Adam:  No mama, that's a honey house.

I may seriously call it that for the rest of my days it's so cute...

______________________________________________

Scene:   Me turning on the water at the tub for bathtime...

Me:  Hey monkey, do you know where the plug is for the tub?
Adam:   I don't knoooow
Me:  Well can you find it?
Adam:   (puts his hands on his hips and stands all proud)  "YUP!  I am FINDER BOY!"  (and then proceeds to pretend fly out of the room)

*he actually did find it...in his ROOM for some odd reason*
____________________

I feel like I should record all these wacky things he says because I know I will forget and it'll be fun to go back and read someday.  Nutty kid

takes after his dad

(and umm, hey hubs?  if you're going to take pictures of yourself like this and leave them on our camera....you should probably just assume they will be posted on the internet at some point.  love ya!  heh)

Bullets....

Hello my neglected little blog...and hello friends who have nicely reminded me that I'm a lazy non-blogging bum.  *I actually had a post all typed up with pictures weeks ago and then it lost all the pictures so I left it as a draft and gave up.  I hate when that happens...

We've just been busy.  Lots of work stuff going on, which is good because I was worried there for a bit that my job might be a goner - but now we are affiliated with another company which has increased my paperwork load quite a bit.  My nights are mostly spent in the office trying to keep on top of it all.

My days are spent keeping the boy busy with preschool, Library visits, playdates, park trips, etc....been a good summer!

So here are some tidbits of what's gone on since APRIL...sheesh:

• After being sick since January, I was tested for Mono and Pneumonia and finally diagnosed with Viral Bronchitis...and told I would have to wait it out, awesome.
• Adam turned THREE on April 15th (too fast, it's all too fast)
• We skipped a party here and went to San Francisco...on his birthday we went to a place called Happy Hollow in San Jose - had a small petting zoo and rides, great place for the littles!                                                                      


this boy cried so hard when we got off that roller coaster...because he didn't want to get off!  I'm so glad he likes roller coasters!

cake lovingly made by his auntie M and his cousins....

• He had his 3 year well baby and they measured him THREE times because he only grew half an inch since he was two...go shawty - it's yer birthday!  Someday we will have to explain to him that it's totally our fault that he is short.
• Then we did easter...note to self- don't use BLACK bowls for color or you won't know what color it is, ya dumbass.

• My sweet angel boy grew horns right around that time and upon advice of his teacher I went to the library and got a book called "Your three year old; Friend or Enemy?"
• He started biting and hitting at school and I was called several times to pick him up early....I was so stressed and worried, and not sure why his behavior changed so drastically
• Around the middle of may he finally had a major turn around and started having fantastic days at school....Thank goodness his teacher worked us through that rough patch

• after NINE MONTHS of preschool he finally stopped crying/pouting when I dropped him off....and would run off happily with his friends.  I no longer feel like a terrible mother on school days - yippeeee!
• Middle of May and I FINALLY felt human again, ears mostly unclogged and able to leave the house without an inhaler
• Had a wonderful mother's day and talked hubs into getting a pedicure with me...super fun
• Went to see Cars 2 at the drive in - Adam was stoked even though we froze our asses off and the movie sucked.  (okay I shouldn't say SUCKED...but it wasn't the sweet, small town story as the first one)
• Hubs made a sob-inducing father's day video for my dad, with pictures of my brother and I from babies until now...I must have watched it 30 times throughout the process and cried every.single.time.   We decided to make my dad a "privacy box" so he wouldn't be embarrassed about getting emotional...we even put a tissue dispenser inside - ha!


• July 4th we decided to keep it mellow and had friends over for a bbq and lit our own fireworks leftover from last year
• Mid July we had this cutie stay with us for a week...friend Allison's sweet puppy Baker (who turned a year old while he stayed with us!)


 he even got to go to the beach with me and a friend early in the am and run around off leash

 and a trip to my parents house to run around the hills and be chased by the boy

 we kept him so busy, this is what he looked like at night...hee!

Adam learned how to use the hose - not necessarily a good thing

• At some point in July - hubs decided to grow a beard...and cover our kid with tattoos. 

Mostly we are just enjoying our boy and soaking up every minute we can...embedding it in our brains because we know this time is so fleeting.

He suddenly seems so grown up

LOVE this munchkin!

***catch up on August will be posted soon - promise!***

Another Day, Another Haircut...

I know I've posted many haircut pictures before - but since alot of this blog is simply for me, so I can look back and say "awwwww" about my little man - I'm posting more haircut pictures.  This kid's hair grows like wildfire, seriously.

The "helmet" was making it's appearance again - and the bedhead was getting funnier and funnier, but he has refused to let me touch his hair lately, so it got a bit more out of control then usual - observe:

 Mid cheeze-it - ha!

 Eeeeh - whatcha doing ma?

Serious bedhead..and almost enough for a combover - OY

After about an hour of convincing and bribery with a lollipop and the movie Cars, he FINALLY let me snip away.  *one of these days I gotta learn how to use those clipper things because the comb/scissors method is testing his patience and something tells me it's not going to last much longer*

 There were a few times where he would get up and run around shouting "NO HAIR CUT!" - but I persisted and now he looks ready to carry a briefcase and attend a republican convention:

 Kinda wish I had lips like that!

 Everytime I cut his hair he just looks older to me...sob!

Especially when he wears our shoes...