Pillow Talk...

Hubster: "You don't even have a pillow...here, use this one"

Me: (scoots over and grabs the pillow) sings.."put your head on a pilleeeeeeer!" (of course with a honky tonk twang)

Hubster: proceeds to sing "it helps the medicine go down! the medicine go dooooowwwn, medicine go down!"

Me: "uhhh, what are you doin?"

Hubster: "I'm singing along! isn't that how it goes?"

Me: "ummm, well...I was singing a country song and you busted out with some Mary Poppins...what's up with that?"

Hubster: "oh...well....it SOUNDED like it would go..."

We looked at each other and smiled...and of COURSE started to sing "Put your head on a piller, it helps the medicine go down! the medicine go dooooooown, medicine go down - just a head on a piller help the medicine go down! In the most de...light...ful....way!"

Good lord, we're singing Mary Poppins in bed - FUH-REAKS!

of course it just now crossed my mind that I should probably ask how in the heck hubster even KNEW the words to Mary Poppins. Does he watch it with the cats when I'm not home?

K Doolittle

Yesterday, I was sitting at my desk working (shaddup, I really was working) when I heard a "THONK!" coming from my bosses office. I instantly knew what it was...and I ran over to the window.
I saw a really tiny little bird laying downstairs on the ground. His neck was all twisted and he was laying on his back...I thought for sure he was dead. But then I saw that he was still breathing. So I ran downstairs with some kleenex in hand and picked up the bird. He kind of flopped over and lifted his head to look at me. I was shocked that his neck seemed okay...and I pet him and held him. It seemed like he was really disoriented, and just knocked himself silly.
I put him in a box and proceeded to call several people trying to get advice about what to do. T told me to call the wildlife center, and reminded me that I shouldn't touch the bird because if it's a baby and the momma bird smells human, then they'll abandon him. So I started to freak out...thinking that I'd ruined this bird's chance of going back to his family. I left a message for the wildlife center, and left him in the box to rest.
Finally, before I left work - the wildlife place called me back and reassured me that touching him with my bare hand wouldn't do any harm...that birds really don't have a sense of smell...whew! She told me to hold him in a flat hand and see if he would fly away.
I held him up by the tree outside, and he just kind of hunkered down in my palm and closed his eyes. He obviously wasn't ready to fly.
So we put him back in the box...sealed the lid - and poked holes in the side. I put some water and some birdseed in the bottom of the box...and left him in a dark and quiet place overnight.

He was SO tiny and so cute...I really hoped he'd make it....

This morning, I peeked into the box and he hopped around and chirped at me! So I took the box downstairs and took the lid off. He looked at me and turned his head to the side as if to say "huh? I'm free? I can go now?"

He kinda cruised around in the box, and I reached down to pick him up thinking that he'd fly away - and he did! He flew up into a nearby tree...sat on the branch and chirped and chirped. He flew around from branch to branch, chirping all the while. I could just imagine him telling his friends "hey guys, you would not BELIEVE what I went through yesterday!"

I gotta say, that whole experience was pretty darn cool :)

And something weird? My friend Ani rescued a bird yesterday too - same darn window THONK happened to her. What are the chances?

Sleepless Nights

Last night, our kitties were baaaaaaaaaaaad...
They decided to do the relay race stampede up and down the hallway at midnight - which sounds like a herd of elephants on our wood floors..and of course we couldn't have lightfooted cats...noooooo - we've got the 15-20 pounders HARUMPING up and down the flippin hallway.
I got up a couple times to whisper "HEY! You three....SHUT.UP.NOW" - mainly because we have a friend staying in the guest room, and I'm sure she was kept awake by the galloping buffalo in the hall.
I would herd them back into our bedroom where they would wrestle and bump into walls and eventually end up chasing each other back down the hallway.
FINALLY - things quieted down....hubster was snoring...Tweak was in his bed next to me...and I was ALMOST asleep....and then I hear the thump-thump-thump-thumping of Jackson and Tiny running once again down the hall...my eyes pop open - and suddenly I see two furry things fly up onto the bed RIGHT by hubster's head...and proceed to jump onto our headboard. They knock over a book and a hair band while wrestling RIGHT ABOVE OUR HEADS. I'm whisper-shouting at them...and hubster is still snoring away. I finally get Jackson to jump down, and I leave Tiny up there. I lay down just as Tiny decides to peek out the window behind our bed. He then decides that the 2 inch ledge of the window is actually big enough for his butt..which it's not...and JUMPS onto the ledge. Of course he falls...grasps onto the curtains and flails his legs around...which in turn, knocks over EVERYTHING on our headboard. Hubster and I get hit the head with water bottles and books and glasses and even a LAMP....
Tiny finally jumps down and runs off - leaving hubster looking bewildered, and me laughing so hard that I've buried my head into my pillow.
It was a minute and a half of pure commotion...
Hubster goes "what just happened?"
Through my laughter, I made an attempt to explain it, but he just shook his head and said "geez, those cats..." and rolled right over and went back to sleep.

I looked down at the end of the bed, and Tiny and Jackson were sitting next to each other on the footboard and looked at me as if to say "whuuuuuut? what'd we do?"

The Ugliest Thing...

Last year, around Christmas-time...hubster and I started gift searching for some married friends (I shall call them D and N) who live up in the Bay Area. We went to local store known for oddball finds, and low prices. We were in the housewares section and kept finding some of the UGLIEST items. We were laughing over a ceramic high heeled shoe, that was covered in porcelain filagree and gold paint, and commenting on why anyone would buy such a dust collector...when it suddenly dawned on us, that we should find a really hideous gift for our friends. And thus started the "Ugly gift that never dies" game.
We looked at the price tag on the shoe, and decided against spending the $8 and headed over to the clearance section. Which is where...for $2...we found the perfect item.

Behold, the ugliest teapot you ever did see...

Of course we bought it...and proceeded to buy them a REAL present as well because we just couldn't actually be THAT mean.

We lovingly wrapped up the teapot, as well as their other gift...and brought it with us to the Bay area where we spent the holidays with hubster's family.

We met our friends at Starbucks, and left the real gift in the car. Sitting down to chat with our coffee, hubster immediately presented the gift. They opened it carefully and proceeded to bring forth the teapot in all it's glory. I think I may have heard a gasp from other people at the crowded cafe, as the bright colors flashed around the small room. Hubster and I could barely contain our laughter while waiting for them to comment on our generous gift. D politely says "wow, it's....really...um....colorful!" - Meanwhile N was grinning wide-eyed...I could almost hear her brain thinking "good GAWD where's the nearest dumpster?" Hubster and I burst out laughing and when they realized it was just a joke - we went to get their real present out of the car.

Fast forward to several months later - D and N come to visit us. We had a lovely weekend full of relaxing and fun...yet, when they left...we mysteriously found THE TEAPOT sitting on the dresser in our guest room.

I emailed N the next day and told her that she sucks...and we both agreed "Let the games begin"

Fast forward to now - where I've had the teapot sitting on my file cabinet at work (BIG conversation piece, lemme tell ya). D and N just happen to be traveling in a foreign land...and little do they know, I have a way to find out exactly where they are staying.

Soon, they will find out that a lovely surprise has been Fed-Exed to them from the other side of the world...

We're kinda hoping they leave it there, so we can go back and get that ugly ceramic shoe...I'm sure it must be on clearance by now!

Mord Wix-up

When my mom and my aunt were younger...I think my mom was about 11 or 12 - which means my aunt would be around 14 (I think), they shared a funny incident that has been told in our family ever since.
Apparantly, they shared a room when they were younger - and their dresser was positioned right by the doorway, in such a fashion that if any of the drawers were left open, the person entering the room was sure to trip over it.
One day, my mother was rummaging around the bottom drawer...and was so caught up in finding what she was looking for, that she LEFT THE DRAWER OPEN.
My aunt proceeded to walk into the room, and immediately banged her shin really hard on the drawer.
Now...my aunt is a very precise and dramatic person with an amazing vocabulary. She was so filled with RAGE that her little sister had left that drawer open without ANY THOUGHT...that she stood there shaking with anger and gritting her teeth.
At this point I imagine my mom sitting on the bed with a drawing in her lap...eyes bulging...and her mouth hanging open while she waited to see what my aunt would do to her.
Anyway, when my aunt was finally able to stop shaking with anger long enough to get words out - she screamed out...

"YOU FUPID STOOL!"

Which has become a life-long family saying ever since...and we laugh and laugh about it. Anytime someone does something maddening or frustrating - we always bust out with the Fupid Stool saying.

Which brings me to today. Hubster and I had to go to DMV this morning to take care of some business...and we stopped for lunch at a local deli. We were sitting there eating, and he was looking through a car catalog pointing out all the cars he wanted to me...he started to have a sneezing fit, and yet was still talking about cars inbetween sneezes. He was describing in detail about a particular car, still sneezing...when he said...

"it's even got the tindows winted"

We looked at each other and busted out laughing.
When we got back into the car, I laughed again and said ...

"tindows winted...HA! you fupid stool.."

A stranger who made my day...

I left work this morning at around 10am and headed off to run some errands for work. One of my stops was at the local bank to make a deposit. The bank has 3 drive through lanes...one that is right by the teller window, and two with the tube/suction things.
The first lane by the window had 1 car waiting...lane #2 had a car being helped...and I pulled into the third lane and waited behind a woman who was being helped. Just after I pulled up - a man in a truck pulled into lane #2, and just as the car in front of him pulled away - a young lady came running out with a sign that said "please use other lane". I assume they were having some issues with the tube/suction thing. The man looked a bit peeved, but backed up and pulled into line behind me.
We sat there, and we sat there....I farted around with the radio for a bit...and realized that we've all been sitting there for quite a few minutes, and nobody moved. Lane #1 still hadn't moved - and neither had ours...
Well right then, I noticed that the woman in front of me was talking very animatedly to the teller through the call box. I figured perhaps there was something wrong with her account or something...so I rolled down my window like a good nosy person. Only she wasn't talking about anything bank account related.
This woman had turned into chatty kathy and was talking about a baby shower that she'd gone to that weekend...she was giving the teller ALL the details about this baby shower....and I"m sitting behind this woman thinking "are you kidding me? does she not realize that she's got 2 people behind her?"
To my disbelief, the teller then asks if the pregnant woman knows what she's having...and more conversation ensues about the baby thing.
I VERY BADLY wanted to honk my horn - but I didn't have the gumption to do so - and instead I revved my engine really loud hoping she would take the hint...
The talking ensues - and hand gestures - and giggling - and exclaming...
Lane #1 hasn't moved either - so I assume that there is only one teller helping both lanes, and these two are so busy yapping it up that nobody is going anywhere...
I was starting to lose my wits...and the anxiety was building at the GALL of this woman...and I was JUST about to finally tap my horn a little...when I heard a car door slam.
I looked in my side mirror to see that the man behind me had gotten out of his truck. He strolled up to the woman in the car behind me....leaned over and pushed the call button on the call box...and said very loudly:

"Do you think the two of you could shut the f*%k up so the rest of us can get on with our day?"

and he turned and walked towards me back to his truck. I was cracking up and said "THANK YOU!" as he walked by.
The woman in the car in front of me looked absolutely HORRIFIED and hurriedly drove away.
I pulled up - and noticed that the woman who was at the teller's window was being reprimanded, and another woman stepped into her place to help myself and the people in lane #1.

I was so glad to see someone do what I've always wished I had the guts to do....that stranger-man totally and completely made my day. I'm still laughing!

Still on the road again...

So back to the topic of "Road Trips"...

Hubster and I feel like we really need to find somewhere to live that is outside of California. Some people might understand that, and some may think we're insane to be leaving friends and family for something completely different then what we're used to. But after MANY (and believe me, SOOOO MANY) discussions on the subject, we just really feel like moving out of the area, and the state...is the right decision for ourselves and our future family.
We've talked about many different areas, and of course we still have alot of options to talk about and explore - all for many different reasons. But for right now, based on location - weather - jobs - and landscape....we're leaning towards Southern Oregon.
We have a vacation coming up in October, and we're again - heading out on the road without any specific plans. Just us, a map, and the road ahead....up into Oregon territory to see how we feel about several different areas up there. We both try to think things through practically and responsibly, but in the end..most of the decisions we make, are based on our GUT FEELINGS about it.
You know how people say "when you KNOW...you KNOW"?
Well that's how we felt when we got married (and everyone thought we were INSANE)...both times we've been on the lookout for a new home to live in...any big purchases, such as cars, furniture, etc....anything that's kind of a big deal...in the end, our gut feelings always win out. And we both know that we have to be in AGREEMENT about those feelings, or it'll never work.

So anyway - we really have no plans about where specifically we're going...I mean, we know certain towns and places we want to go - but nothing is planned out as far as staying anywhere, or having a schedule for anything. We've talked about driving back down through parts of Idaho...we've also talked about driving up to Seattle. Who knows - we'll know when we know, right?

We're both really excited about it - and we've talked about renting a car for the drive, so that we don't put so many miles on our car, or have to worry about mechanical problems that WE have to fix....yada, yada, yada..

But then last night - plans changed.

Hubster called me yesterday and asked me to look up information on renting an RV. My heart kind of skipped a beat when he said that because I can't believe we didn't think of that before!
WE've always talked about wanting to buy an RV someday and just traveling all over the place....all over the US, Canada, Mexico...anywhere we can DRIVE.
So how great would it be to give it a shot for this upcoming trip? Especially when we have no idea where we're going or where we'll end up.

So I looked into it - and for about $700, not including gas (which will be outrageous, but would be ANYWAY) - we can rent an RV for the entire week. Not only will we not have to pay for hotels...or a rental car...but we'll also be able to buy food and prepare it ourselves, rather then having the expense of eating out for every meal. The RV has a shower, toilet, stovetop, fridge, freezer, and microwave...it'll be like camping - only not really camping.

This is so right up our alley - and we both keep thinking about our last Road Trip and how much fun we had.
This will be different because it could possibly involve our FUTURE - but at the same time, it's very exciting to think about and we're both very curious how we're going to feel about the areas we want to see. It could be a definate "hell no", it could also be a hesitant "maybe" - and it could also be a wide-eyed look at each other with a smile that says "this is it".

On to making more great memories...

On the road again...I just can't wait to get on the road again...

A couple of years ago, hubster and I took a "Road Trip" for one of our vacations. We had reservations for one night at a bed and breakfast up in Mendocino county, and the rest of our vacation was completely unplanned. Since we couldn't decide what we wanted to do - and didn't have the money to go anywhere fancy anyway...we decided to just get in the car and DRIVE. We wanted to go wherever our hearts desired...as long as we agreed anyway - which is never a sure thing.
So we took Hwy 1 all the way up to the bed and breakfast, and stopped along the coast wherever we wanted, even stopped at Fort Ross which was pretty cool...we saw so much of the coastline that we've never seen before, and it was beautiful and very relaxing and peaceful to not have the pressure of HAVING to be somewhere at a certain time.

That vacation was by far, the best one we've ever taken together. We thought for sure that being trapped in a car for that long together would take it's toll and we'd inevitably have arguements or bicker about stuff. But we didn't...we even got lost quite a few times...and managed to laugh it off and say "oh well!".

We traveled up the coast to Mendocino county, ...stayed at the bed and breakfast and enjoyed the peace and quiet of NO television, and ate some of the most fantastic food ever. The next morning, we both sat on the deck that overlooked the ocean and read the newspaper, and didn't say a word to each other for about 2 hours. It was such a relaxing time that we didn't feel the NEED to talk and keep constant chatter going.
We left there, and drove back down through the redwoods and all the tiny and quaint towns scattered about Northern California...over to Old Town Sacramento (commonly known as Old Sac, which sounds dirty and I always giggle when I hear people call it that). We drove through town, and discovered a RIVERBOAT hotel that was docked on the Sacramento River (which was pretty cool...but not as cool as I thought it would be). We dropped all our stuff off in our tiny little room, and then cruised all through town and found a basement music store that had all kinds of funky stuff in it...and walls and walls of records. And I mean VINYL records...
We scoured and hunted around for a long time in that store...and walked out with several Led Zeppelin albums, and a few others for only $50. We were holding well over $150 worth of vinyl in our hands, so we felt darn good about that...and we talk about going back to that store all the time. We then went wine tasting and did some more shopping, and spent the evening drinking champagne and looking out at the river and into the streets of Old Sac (hehe) and then headed down to enjoy another PERFECT meal at the Riverboat Restaurant.
The next morning, we woke up and said "so...where do you want to go today?" - and after hitting up the train museum in town...he headed back on the road and just DROVE, not knowing really where we were going...and decided to just keep on driving until we got to Reno. Neither one of us had ever been there, so we figured "why not?".
The drive up to Reno was SO BEAUTIFUL....and we even encountered snow going through the mountains. The scenery was so breathtaking and NEW to us that we just marveled at everything...and chatted and laughed the entire way.
Reno was actually quite disappointing - we found it to be dirty and old and just not what we expected...but we stayed at the Silver Legacy which is probably one of the nicest hotels in town. We gambled a bit and toured through several casino's. The next day we went to the automobile museum in town which was AMAZING. Hubster was enthralled with each and every vehicle, and insisted on taking pictures of everything possible.
We then left Reno and headed back through the mountains...and stopped at a "family fun center" where they did inner tube sledding. I was THRILLED, and had to talk hubster into going with me because he initially didn't want to do it...but we had SUCH A BLAST tubing in the snow. We're not small people, so we got some serious speed going down that hill, it was great.

After that, we headed back down through Northern California's Gold Country. We found a hotel in Placerville, and the next day we actually went DOWN INTO an actual working Gold Mine. I think we were about 1400 yards down...it was a LONG way...I thought for sure I would feel claustrophobic down there, but I never did. I think I was so fascinated by the whole thing that I never thought about how closed in we were. The tour leader your typical stereotype of a miner. Long white beard, hard hat...suspenders...and short. Very nice man, and he knew his stuff!
Anyway - that afternoon we headed back to SF to stay with hubster's parents and we were both sad to have our trip end.
All the little stuff in between...getting lost...or finding an oddball place to stop and eat...laughing at something we saw, and just being so easy going about WHERE we went...was all so much fun. I know we both look back on that vacation with really fond memories. We saw alot of things that we'd never seen before, and went alot of places that we've never been before.
Part of me wishes that I could make a video of everything in my head from that vacation. I'm afraid that those memories will leave me someday...or afraid that I will forget how it FELT to be just the two of us laughing and smiling while driving on all those unknown roads...

More to come...

Being Domestic?

Most people who know me...and know me well...know that I'm not much for decorating. Things don't usually match, I don't usually have much on the walls of my house..and when people ask me what my "theme" is for certain rooms...I give them the "you're insane" look. Sometimes when people talk a certain decor or theme for a room - my eyes glaze over and a bit of drool comes out of my mouth.
I also can't stand the color Pink, and for the most part...flowers are just not my thing.
I know, I know...my mother must be so proud right?
Anyway - a couple weeks ago, we were at Amanda's house - and she had a new IKEA catalog sitting on the coffee table.
For the record...hubster + me + our checkbook + IKEA = TWO BROKE FOOLS WITH TOO MUCH FURNITURE and a bad case of the "I WANT'S"
So of course, the first thing we did was flip through the catalog and dissect every page. As always, we found all kinds of things we WANT...but don't NEED. And then....we found something we DID NEED! Okay, so we didn't NEED it - but we sort of did, in a roundabout way.
Anyone who decorates would say that we needed it alright?
Hubster found a duvet set...with matching curtains that he LOVED. He showed the page to me, and much to my own, and most certainly Amanda's shock...I loved them too.
They had flowers on them...
(so does this happen as we get older? Because I'm a bit frightened that my house will eventually be full of flowered things, and crocheted doily's)
I'm sure that wherever my mom was at the time...a little light shone down on her - with a tiny angel's chorus background singing "Hal-lelu-iah!"- because HER DAUGHTER liked something with FLOWERS on it. Not just any flowers mind you...little tiny blue and PINK FLOWERS.
I still can't believe it myself.
So, after spending all day Sunday with the family in the Bay Area. We were off for the long drive home. Which just HAPPENED to go right past the IKEA in Palo Alto. Yes, we caved...and we headed into the Sunday crowds of IKEA to find our precious bedspread.
We made our purchase - and after finding out that the dining table we wanted was out of stock (I TOLD you we'd be broke fools with too much furniture) we headed home.
The curtains at IKEA come really huge...ours were 118 inches long and each panel was 58 inches wide. They do that to accomodate any window size...and each curtain comes with fusing tape, so you can iron a hem.
Which is PERFECT for people like me who can't sew. And I mean, I really can't sew....
I once tried making a pair of pants in Jr. High and accidentally sewed the pockets onto the LEGS...and I don't mean just the legs...but the BOTTOM of the legs. I don't think I've seen my mom laugh that hard in YEARS...tears rolling down her face, the whole deal...and the entire time she was laughing I was trying to figure out how in the hell I had sewn the pockets down where my ankles should have been.
SO yeah, K DOESN'T SEW!
Anyway - I busted out my iron...and measured and cut...and hemmed...sort of....I even DOUBLE hemmed so the edges wouldn't be all raggedy.
And now...drum roll please....


















(I never realized how hard it is to take pictures of CURTAINS with sun shining through them - perhaps I'll give it another try at nighttime)

At any rate, Hubster and I have a bedroom with MATCHING curtains, and bedspread. We even have decorative pillows that match the bedspread. Pillows that are not for sleeping...but just to match the bedspread. Hubster is under strict orders that he is not to drool or get any hair gel remnants on our NEW PILLOWS.
I even took it one step further and used some of the extra material left over to make a coverlet of some sort for the cats. Basically since they sleep on our bed during the day...it's just an extra sheet of material over the bedspread - that I can easily throw in the wash when it gets too cat-hair laden....and yet, it MATCHES.
Oh my...does this mean I'm turning into one of those "domesticated types"?
Am I going to start wearing an apron and making casseroles? Will this cause me to...God Forbid...MAKE MY BED EVERY DAY??? Lord help me...

While I was taking pictures - Tweak was running around on the bed all bug-eyed...sort of like an Amish person who doesn't want their picture taken because it'll "steal their soul" or something...
so here is the obligatory, psycho-bug-eyed-hyperactive cat picture:

Notice the whipping action I captured with that tail...

Doesn't get much cuter...

Yesterday, I was sitting at my desk working, when I heard the stomp-stomp-stomp of little kid-feet coming up the stairs to my office.
I looked up and saw my neice Keeley's little shining face running towards me, all by herself. She had the biggest smile on her face and was holding something in her hand, high up in the air...so as not to smoosh it.
She gave me a nice big hug and said "Auntie, I have something for you!"
and she handed me this:

Then she said "Auntie! Look in the pocket!"

So I did...and I found these:

Then she said "Those are your tickets!!! For you and Uncle! Open it up and read what's inside!!!"

So I did...and this is what it said...

I looked down at the sweet, smiling face - and she said "Can you COME? CAN YOU?"

and I said "of COURSE!"

and then she said "We're so excited Auntie, Abby and I are going to school and we're going to make lots of friends, and learn so much stuff!"

and right after that, my heart was so full that it burst into a million peices...

*also, is my sister-in-law just about the most creative and crafty person EVER or what?

Goobers and Nerds

When I was about 6 or 7 years old, I remember my mom making my dad a homemade anniversary card. Actually, it was more like a POSTER, if you will. She had purchased different candies and made a poem for my dad out of the name of the candy. Of course it was extremely clever and creative, but at that age, all I could think about was EATING that candy. Heh...

So hubster and I are heading to San Francisco this weekend for his neices birthday, and since we missed spending Father's day with his dad, we decided that we'd just bring up a gift this weekend. After deciding that we wanted to do something homemade and "from the heart", I mentioned my mom's poster. Hubster LOVED the idea, and so last night we ransacked the candly aisle at two different stores....went home and moved the coffee table...and spent the next hour brainstorming and laying out the card...
This is what we came up with: (translation is below)

Considering it's so hard to read...this is what it says (candy names will be in parenthesis)

(LOOK!) It's an (M-AZING) Father's Day Card! You may think we're (GOOBERS) or even (NERDS), but (U-NO) this will make you (SNICKER). Dad, you are a (LIFESAVER) through all the (ROCKY ROAD)'s and there's (NUTTER BUTTER) than you. We always have a (WHOPPER) of a good time, because our (POP ROCKS)! We want you to (TAKE 5), do (ZERO) around the house, eat a (WHATCHAMACALLIT), and know that we love you (NOW & LATER). Mom says you are a (BIG HUNK) and a (HOT TAMALE), but we know you're a (SUGAR DADDY). With love from your (AIRHEADS), (SPECIAL K) and (M & M)

hubsters initials are M and M, so we thought that worked out well...hee!

We used double stick tape to stick all the candy down, and it's worked REALLY well. We're so excited to give this to him - and we had SUCH A BLAST making it and coming up with ideas. You should have seen us hauling through that candy aisle...we got to laughing because we figured if anyone was watching us, they probably would have thought we were from a really isolated foreign country...

"Look hun! POP ROCKS!"

"Oh my gosh, WE LOVE YOU NOW & LATER!"

"how about THERE'S NUTTER BUTTER THAN YOU?"

Trying to figure it all out in the store...pointing and laughing at all the different names.

We found one called "Krabbie Patties" - but couldn't figure out how to work that into what is supposed to be a NICE card. I also saw a box of "Nips" and said "well, we're not going to go THERE"

Hubster's dad will be on a year long sugar high after this...

Hi, and welcome to moviefone...

Hubster always likes to answer the phone differently. Sometimes he'll answer with fake chinese talk...and people will hang up thinking they've got the wrong number, while he just cackles and puts the phone down.
Or sometimes he'll answer as a local restaurant - or pizza place. Or sometimes he'll just answer in a different voice...mainly just to mess with whoever is calling. The telemarketers mainly...hehe
Sometimes he'll say "Hi, and welcome to Moviefone...if you know the name of the movie you would like to see - please press 1"
(remember Kramer?? "why don't you just TELL me the name of the movie you'd like to see!")
and then sometimes people will press a button, and he'll laugh and say "I need a better system!"

One day, he called my brother AJ's cell phone and left a message that said "Hi, this is Dave Masterson from the local police department. We show that your vehicle was involved in a hit and run, and we need you to call our office immediately - thank you"
We laughed because we figured AJ would see the number we called from, know it was us, and just call to give us a hard time.
Now, the one thing that must be said about my brother is that he is always trying to call me at work and pull a prank on me that he's a customer. He's NEVER ONCE fooled me, and I always know it's him...so hubby and I felt that it was time for some payback.

The next morning, I got to work and received a phone call from AJ. We chatted for a bit, and then I mentioned hubster's phone call from the night before...AJ goes "wait...that was HIM?? Are you SERIOUS??? I was totally FREAKED OUT the entire night! I got up early and called the police department!"
I thought he was pulling my leg, but it turns out that he really did freak out and call them....

hold on one second..

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!

He said that he called and asked for a Dave Masterson - and they said they didn't have a Dave Masterson, but they DID have a Dave...HEE!
So AJ talked to him and gave him all his information (thinking that perhaps someone stole his truck and went joyriding or something). Policeman Dave checked his record and said it was clean, and he didn't show anything about a hit and run.
Poor AJ didn't know what to think, but he was stressing about it...
and for some reason, didn't even THINK to check his phone to see what number the call was made from.

AJ sounded kind of ticked off at first...but I was busting a gut halfway through his story....I was laughing so hard, there was NO WAY he could have not laughed. He finally laughed right along with me...and shouted to some guys behind him..."Dude, it was my A**hole brother-in-law!"

I would think about that throughout the rest of the day, and get the giggles every time...I can't believe he got AJ so good...

and you know, AJ has yet to try and prank me even ONCE since then...

A birthday story..

So last night, hubster was watching Deadwood in the living room, and I was watching Kill Reality in the office...and I decided to go through some of our paperwork and throw away and shred some things. I came across a HUGE box of cards that I'd saved for whatever reason. Cards from family, cards from each other, letters from friends, things like that.
I came across an American Greetings birthday card that I remember purchasing, not FOR anyone - but because it was by far the strangest and quirkiest birthday card I've ever read. I've decided to post it here for your reading pleasure.

The front of the card says:

Celebrating a birthday

can be a blast if you use a little

imagination and keep an open mind.

Picture this:

Prior to picking you up for an

evening out, I stop at the store.

There I purchase a bag of jelly beans,

a roll of Necco wafers, a bunch of

medium-sized inflated rubber balls,

some pantyhose, a purple magic marker,

a gun, an etch-a-sketch, a four-pack

of toilet paper and some hollow point

bullets. (by the way, the gun was applied

for five days earlier, as requiered by law,

and the toilet paper is for my place...

I seem to go through the stuff like

water...but none of this is germane

to our story.)

I pull up to your place in my car,

(which I've painted to resemble the duke

boys' general lee) thrust my hand into

the bag of jelly beans on the front seat,

grab a half-dozen or so, step out onto

the street and start whippin' 'em at

your windows. I go and get some more

out of the car and begin wingin' jelly

beans across the street, onto the roof of

your neighbors place. They roll down into

the gutter, making an awful racket.

and now the fun begins....

and then you open the card and it says:

Have a seat....you'll enjoy this.

By this time, you're at the front door, screamin' something about what the hell am I doing? and am I crazy? and I yell, "yeah!...crazy like a beaver, I am!!" Before long we're in the car heading across town, laughing like a couple of Ed McMahons,on our way to get our hair done. (I offered. My treat.You said, "why the hell not, it's my birthday!") the only drawback is the long drive, and you don't hesitate to complain about it. This is when I reach for the Etch-A-Sketch."Here!.. went to Niagara Falls with one of these babies when I was a kid...they're better than drugs!" Forty-five minutes later we come to a stop on an overpass spanning the interstate. I pull over on the shoulder and ask you to get out of the car. I start to get out myself, when you ask me to look at your drawing of Oprah and I say "Looks more like JFK..." and you say "that's because of the equator." and I pause, because I don't know what the hell that means. I pop open the trunk, and as you stroll around back, you remark about all the rubber balls. I grab a ball, take the purple magic marker from my pocket, and write, "I see you when you're sleeping, and I know when you're awake" on the ball, then toss it into the onrushing traffic below the bridge. Handing the marker to you, with a "It's your turn" look on my face, you swipe the pen, scoop up a ball, and scribble "property of Enola Gay" on it before launching the sphere into the path of oncoming automobiles. Now...you wanna talk about fun? We fall to our knees with laughter, watching the antics of these desperate drivers and their pie-eyed passengers as they jerk their cars back and forth trying to avoid those bouncing beauties. Some time passes as the ensuing messages on the balls become more and more elaborate, before being set free over the highway. This is when the cops show up. It's a high-speed chase with roadblocks and choppers, taking hours...nevertheless, we lose 'em, and end up in the basement of an old church. You know the one. This is where I tell you to take the pantyhose off of your head. (You'd put it on to mask your identity when the camera crew flew up alongside of us in the helicopter during our getaway.) Anyways...A priest walks in on us as we're collecting our thoughts and says, "What're you two doin' here?"...Have I seen you before?" I nudge you, and hand you a white Necco wafer, and you understand my plan immediately. Slipping the candy onto my tongue,

and here is an arrow pointing to the back of the card (of course the entire inside of the card was filled with wording from the story) and says:

I answer him. "Yeth, Padre, you know uth...

we got communion from you." and he sees

the white disc and says, softly "oh...I see..."

and he turns to leave us, but suddenly

whirls around, brandishing a shotgun.

Spitting out the candy, I whip out my handgun.

The Priest stares, aghast, at the wafer on

the ground. "You, my friend, are going to

wish you hadn't done that," he sneers.

Then I grin back, "You feelin' tough enough

to go toe-to-toe with Mr. Hollow Point?"

and you yell "Hey! This ain't right! I ain't even

been sung to yet!" Bewildered, the priest

looks at me, and I explain that it's your birthday.

He pulls a pitch pipe from his vestments,

blows a high "C", and arm-in-arm, we launch

into a rollicking version of the birthday song,

Leaving you weeping with joy.

Now, is that not the oddest birthday card ever??

No room to write anything...just one big, weird story...LOVE.IT.

Tiny weirdo..

I snapped this picture of Tiny. Of course he totally looks like he was licking some unmentionables, but he really didn't. He just SAT there like this for a good while. It must have been comfortable to him, but doesn't it look strange?

Good weekend..

This weekend was nice. On Friday night, we ended up at my parents house so I could help them hook up their new computer...and halleluiah they are FINALLY ONLINE. We hung out with them for a while, had some good food - and headed home. Saturday, I slept in until around 10am...caught up on some taped tv shows and proceeded to do as little as possible until mark came home. We headed to AJ and CC's to hang out with them and the kids and to eat dinner. It was really great to have some playtime with the kids and some quality time with my brother and CC. We then went home and watched a couple episodes of The Sopranos, since we love that show and we're trying to get ourselves caught up. We went to bed really late and woke up late the next morning. Lounged around the house reading and being generally lazy, and then headed to SLO to meet up with my parents for the movie Cinderella Man...which was FANTASTIC.
After that, we hit up Applebee's for some appetizers and dessert (half off appetizers during happy hour! wooo!) and then home.
All in all, a great weekend since we got to catch up with family that we hadn't seen in a while (even though we all live in the same town) and also very relaxing and nice. Of course we didn't get a darn thing done around the house, but sometimes it's nice to just be lazy together :)
If there's one thing we're good at, it's lounging and lazying. We might as well enjoy it while we don't have kids eh?

As Promised...

Pictures of the Hornet's Home! Luckily, they weren't hanging around, so I was able to get in close and take some good pictures:





Isn't it cool lookin? Like a chinese lantern!

My hubby the Metro...

Soooo yesterday evening...Doug and I took a little trip to my local hairdresser. She has her very own salon with nobody else there, so it's very personal and you don't have to be embarrassed if...say...you're a guy....and you want to...oh, I don't know...get your EYEBROWS WAXED.

Now, I have to say...we didn't want to completely shape and sculpt them...we just wanted to clean them up a little. It was far too big of a job for my little tweezers, and usually at about 10 hairs in, he screams and says "no more! no more!" - so waxing it is...

Hubster before:


Hubster during:

And Hubster AFTER! (like I said, just shaped up a little...so as not to look like a drag queen):

Wooohooo!

He did SO well, and did not even make a PEEP during the entire procedure. My hairdresser even complimented him on being such a good customer. But when we got into the car, he goes "you know, I was once hit by a 450 pound Samoan guy....and that didn't hurt NEARLY as much as this whole waxing thing - it took EVERYTHING I HAD to not scream like a little girl"

HAHAHA - now that's funny right there, I don't care who you are.

After his suffering, we went to a local restaurant and ate fish tacos - where I also met a sexy pirate:

He told me I could take a peek, so I did...

We also met a one-legged bird during our meal...

We kept feeding him oyster crackers because we felt sorry for him - but we learned later, that he hangs out there all the time, and most likely gets fed all the time

It was so nice out last night that we decided to take a walk on the pier and we met yet, ANOTHER bird. I said "strike a pose" and he turned his head to his GOOD side...like this:

It was a nice end to an interesting evening....

Movie Mishap...

Okay, so despite the fact that we didn't care for the movie...
I thought I'd share some funny things that happened:

First of all, we were in line getting popcorn and a soda and noticed that they have COMBOS now - we chose the one that was 1 large popcorn and two medium drinks. Except that we realized it was $14.95...and so we decided to share one medium popcorn and one medium drink instead. So the pimply kid behind the counter says "you can upgrade to a large on both items for 50 cents"
and we said "great!"
We got the register and said "we got an upgraded #2!"
$10.95 - a GIGANTIC tub of popcorn - and a 2 foot tall cherry coke later, we were on our way into the theater...
We sat down and I put the soda in the cup holder...and started laughing because I swear the thing was so big, it practically blocked my view of the movie screen. I was terrified that I would knock it over...it was so tall that you couldn't take it out of the cupholder and drink it - you had to leave it in the cupholder and just lean over and sip out of the straw. We actually had to RAISE our head to get the straw in our mouth...it was that tall.
So anyway - we were waiting for the movie to start, and munching on popcorn and sipping on soda and hubster started laughing and said "dang, this popcorn is SALTY...I'm gonna be so bloated by the time I get out of here"
and I said "no kidding, I'm gonna go into diabetic shock from all this coke"
and he goes "yeah, so we'll both be found right here bloated and comatose after the movie - and when we wake up and people ask us what happened, we'll cry "WE UPGRADED!"
we crack ourselves up...
So then, a couple of teenage lovebirds squished in and sat right next to me and started yakking it up and giggling and nuzzling each other throughout the previews...the movie began and they still wouldn't shut up - so I got up and moved the other side of hubster which was right on the aisle.
I had smuggled some fundip candy into the theatre. You know, the kind that comes with two candy sticks and 3 flavors of sugar (think pixy stick substance) to dip into?
So I broke off one stick and handed it to hubster, and I took the other one and held the sugar packets in my hand, so that we could share.
In the meantime, another teenage kid comes and sits by himself at the seat right in front of me.
I was dipping the candy stick into the sugar and a piece of the stick broke off and flew out of my hand...it hit the seat in front of hubster...ricocheted off the seat and hit the kid in front of me square in the temple!
I swear, I watched in slow motion as the peice of candy bounced off his head and came to rest on a stair in the aisle.
He obviously thought it came from someone to the side and started looking around and shaking his head to make sure nothing was stuck in his hair...meanwhile, I was laughing SO hard and trying not to make ANY noise whatsoever, which is nearly impossible when you're laughing that hard. Hubster notices me laughing and goes "what happened to your stick?" which only makes me laugh harder....
I'm sure I looked as if I was having a seizure or something - and hubster had no idea what was going on - he was holding onto the giant soda and looking at me with bug eyes. I tried to whisper in his ear what had happened - but I gave up when he kept saying "what? what happened to your stick?"
which only made me laugh harder...

I eventually got ahold of myself and was able to watch the movie without any more mishaps. But when I was finally able to explain to hubster what had happened, he just looked at me and goes "I can't take you anywhere, can I?"

Sigh...

Charlie spoilers...

So, yesterday...hubster and I went to the movies to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. We walked out of there wishing we had our 2 hours and our 12 bucks back. Seriously, it was THAT bad. It totally ticks me off how much they messed up the remake. I know it's supposed to be more like the book - but the movie was some good stuff and they totally blew it.
First of all, Depp was downright creepy. Now, I'm sure he was supposed to play it a certain way...and he DID do a good job, acting-wise. But the person who decided that he should play it that way was off his rocker. He was like Michael Jackson creepy...with the wierd voice and the wierd face...and the RUBBER GLOVES. EW
Secondly, the oompa-loompas. WHAT THE HECK WERE THEY ALL ABOUT? They were even creepier than Wonka...and the music sucked donkeys.
They left a TON of things out...like slugworth, hello? wasn't he like a major part of the movie, and especially the end? and what about the burping scene with charlie and grandpa joe?
They also switched people around, and changed the story line of the previous movie so much that it really irritated me....

the first Willy Wonka was a feel-good movie...

but the remake was depressing and wierd and a waste of my money.

They didn't even play the oompa-loompa SONG...

Jumpy

Last night, it was about 11:30pm and hubster and I were in bed talking when we heard two loud gunshots. We both stopped mid-sentence and looked at each other because I swear they sounded like they came from our backyard. Hubster turned the light off and we both stood on the bed and looked out the windows of our bedroom into our neighbor's yard. We couldn't see anything, so we laid back down and listened to see if we could hear sirens or a car leaving in a hurry or anything of that nature.
I was so on edge that every noise those cats made, I felt like crawling out of my skin and hiding under the bed.
Hubster and I got up and checked both doors and all the windows. It really freaked us out - mainly because it was so CLOSE.
I got up this morning and immediately drove around the neighborhood looking for yellow tape on someone's house...and yet, everything looked normal. I also checked the news and the paper this morning and couldn't find a darn thing. Must have been someone just messing around - but DARN if it didn't scare the crap out of me. We live in a really small town and a very quiet neighborhood. It's not normal to hear gunshots like that, especially gunshots that sound like they're coming from our own backyard.
I slept like CRAP - tossed and turned all night and swore that I kept hearing noises...
paranoid much?