Monday, November 15, 2010

In case you need to know...

I am about to provide you with step by step instructions on how to have an indoor camping adventure.  In case you are like us and have work schedules that don't coincide with an entire weekend off to actually GO camping....or if you are like us and live in a place where your only yard is accessible from the street, so camping in your backyard isn't an option.

Step 1 - Set up tent in yard so you can sweep out the dirt from previous camping trip before you bring it into your house.  Make sure you pile tons of blankets and pillows in there and play "fort" with your munchkin all afternoon.
 2 - Get hubs to clean and fire up the grill.

3.  Keep hubs happy by bringing him a tall glass of Guiness

 4. Keep boy happy by letting him roll around to his hearts content in the sandbox
 5.  Let your boys get into a swordfight...
 6. Make sure the boy defends the castle
7. Stop for a second and marvel at the smile on that child's face
8. Promise your worried dog that no harm will come to her
9.  Go inside and eat fabulous steak dinner with broccoli and hollandaise and rice pilaf 
 10.  Push all your furniture to the side and let the boy enjoy the space after you vacuum 923 tons of cat hair from under the sofa
 11. Bring tent inside and realize either your tent is bigger then you thought, or your living room is smaller then you thought...shrug your shoulders, leave the sides down and "make it work" Tim Gunn style
12.  Light a fire in the fireplace.   IMPORTANT.  Before lighting the fire, make sure the damper is open so that when you light the fire, it doesn't proceed to billow out black smoke directly at you and fill you with panic (not that this happened....ahem....I'm just sayin)
 13. NOT yank on damper chain hard enough that it breaks off in your hand and then you have to thank the Lord above that it broke while damper was open and not closed.....also, keep fire extinguisher handy - just in case.
 14.  Set up air mattress and pile blankets, pillows, and your BOYS into the tent
 15.  Make sure to angle tent so you can still see the TV
16. Realize it's too freaking hot for a fire in the fireplace and open the door and turn on the fan
 17.   Get out the cutest sleeping bag ever
 18. and bust out the marshmallows
19.  Roast marshmallows.  Then decide you feel like a dork roasting marshmallows inside the house with the door open.

 20.  But do it anyway because a hubs filled with marshmallow is a happy hubs.   Also discover boy does not like marshmallows.
21.  Get the boy ready for bed and take a picture of your right eyebrow as proof that you were actually there
 22.  Try to convince the boy that it actually is bedtime, not run in and out of the tent-time
 23.  No, seriously dude....bedtime
 24.  Realize boy sleeping in tent is a giant fail and put him in his own room.  Then proceed to discover there is a hole in your air mattress and decide to sleep in your own room as well.  Camping turned into "hanging out in tent for a while"

25.  Wake up in the morning, watch tv, eat breakfast,  and drink coffee on quickly deflating air mattress.
26.  Sigh with happiness that your little family of bedheads can have fun snuggling in a tent in your living room.

1 comment:

k said...

This post had me snort laughing in my office.

P.S. As for #11, I have the same problem with Christmas trees. Once in our house--crap! They're huge!